Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
Today, I was teaching my one year-old some new words. He pointed to the picture of a pig and said, "Mama". Guess I better start that diet. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
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Top comments
strawberry_78 0
Ah, I could understand his mistake, double meaning! You said it!!!
umlautasaur 0
I don't see how this is an FML. You have baby weight. Your husband isn't making a huge deal of it. BTW, "cow" is usually synonymous with being overweight. All mammals breastfeed.
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Comments (152)
Jennika 0
at least he was nice about it
Tric 0
LOL! I would've said the same thing.
neverland_fml 0
Guess you're still fat. Time to start hitting up the gym or your husband will never want to touch you again. :)
arques 0
Comments like that invite trouble. Saying that you're a cow usually means that you think you're fat which makes it very difficult for any guy to answer. At least your husband was sensitive and tried to make you feel better.
naughtybuddha 0
o_O oooh the comments left on this thing. i can see why you'd feel like a cow....pumping out milk and whatnot
FPsLife 5
And this is why guys have to be careful of those wily emotional females. Never be more specific than she is.
WorkSexMonkey 0
He was trying to be sincere. Stop whining.
Qualifier 0
YDI, Cow = Fat
Djmh17 0
That's what you get for fishing for compliments.. You clearly know that cow implies fat, tried a not-so-sneaky way to be told you weren't, and it backfired in your face.
Sympathydude 0
Okay come on! U can't just say I'm a cow! U practically lined yourself up for that!