lerouxmaster
Metal as ****
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
blah blah daddy
United States
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
anon
United States
Straight to jail
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Anonymous
Thailand
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
potatoebee
Clover, United States
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
bubbles
United Kingdom
Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML
mew
Canada
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
stressedmom36
Tampa, United States
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
boymom
Sussy Baka
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Anonymous
Dewitt, United States
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Top comments
in_side_out 0
**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out
Good_old_Grim 8
Where is the "congratulations" button?
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Comments (321)
Antionne 0
your kid reminds me of mine he sounds just as awesome punching those little kindergarden boys in the face who has tried to take his show and tell toys. I love my little Aj
travis_lane_gray 1
your kid is a badass!
ProhibitionRose 14
Bahaha your lucky your kid is full of epic win!
bobert258 0
get the kid some Asking Alexandria and some Miss May I!
KirkaLiscious 0
awesome!!!!!
lemonss1888 0
hahahahhah thats the greatest thing ive ever heard
GoArmy6624 7
metal
TSS_Fan 0
That kid is raaad. haha. Its not an FML, I'd be proud!
JP1324 0
that kid is ******* awesome!
wwerulez14 6
Oh Glow, by the way, I was planning on sending you a link to the new Asking Alexandria EP, but it seems I've been blocked?