Today, my partner, our 5-month-old baby and I had to go to A&E because my idiot boyfriend mistook dishwasher Rinse Aid for cooking oil, and cooked a meal for us in it. As I'm breastfeeding, even our baby needed blood tests. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML
Today, while I took a short nap, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our 9 month-old a shake with a whole milk base, despite being told several times he can’t digest it. Later, while we were out and about, he threw up. I rode home in the backseat with the baby, covered in it. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Assuming he failed to read the label, how did he not notice the smell?
princess_stabitty 20
... how do you mistake cooking oil and dishwasher rinse aid?
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Comments (16)
RichardPencil 32
Arts & Entertainment? The network? What can they do for you?
Bianca Zepter 2
Accident and emergency
RichardPencil 32
That sounds like a funner network! What channel is that?
BurnInDemonFire 39
911
BurnInDemonFire 39
Assuming he failed to read the label, how did he not notice the smell?
Jaymail 19
You’re making the same mistake I often do. It’s natural to ASSUME people have at least the same amount of smarts as we do. I’ve worked with the public long enough to know that that’s not necessarily so!
ClumbsyHotty 10
Hey do R Gene Is
ojoRojo 27
Dear lord that’s terrifying. Seriously hope you’re all okay!
princess_stabitty 20
... how do you mistake cooking oil and dishwasher rinse aid?
Jaymail 19
Should I repeat what I just now stated in this conversation string?
spinspinsugar 12
right?! they smell completely different!
BurnInDemonFire 39
What does intelligence have to do with a person's sense of smell? Last time I checked, cooking oil doesn't smell like synthetic lemon, or whatever chemical scent that particular dishwasher rinse aid had. The guy would have had to have been incapable of reading and smelling to make such a mistake. And if he didn't catch the scent when opening the bottle, how did he miss it while cooking the food?
Jaymail 19
Apparently you’ve never had to work Customer Service anywhere. There are some REALLY stupid people out there. I could tell you some stories about people’s intelligence. And if I did you’d really think I was making the stories up. Because, you’d think, nobody could be THAT stupid!
BurnInDemonFire 39
I've worked in customer service before, and I've met plenty of idiots outside of that industry, as well, but none of them were so stupid that they couldn't correctly identify a smell.
Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15
but..... how did none of you notice? I'm not sure hes the only idiot.
genuinegoodguy 9
He can’t win a Darwin Award but probably only because of your child
slowhandjp 18
What meal did he cook with it? I wanna know the recipe.
Bonnie Stomp 3
I wanna know why cooking oil is beside dishwashing aids 🤷🏽♀️
Chazzster 32
Is boyfriend really that stupid or was this attempted murder?