Today, my partner, our 5-month-old baby and I had to go to A&E because my idiot boyfriend mistook dishwasher Rinse Aid for cooking oil, and cooked a meal for us in it. As I'm breastfeeding, even our baby needed blood tests. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML
Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML
Today, while I took a short nap, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our 9 month-old a shake with a whole milk base, despite being told several times he can’t digest it. Later, while we were out and about, he threw up. I rode home in the backseat with the baby, covered in it. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Assuming he failed to read the label, how did he not notice the smell?
princess_stabitty 20
... how do you mistake cooking oil and dishwasher rinse aid?
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Comments (16)
Brightside86 31
He must be very attractive.
giant.floof 2
and this person is a father! either i hope this story is fake or Oh My God woman! why are you with him?
SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8
I’m confused. How did you not notice? Is he that incompetent in the kitchen that you tasted chemicals in your food and it didn’t seem abnormal to you?