Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was nice to my son's friend. He's 27 and needs to get a life, so now he won't stop texting me and flirting. I will have to escort him back, not just to the "friend zone", but to the "I'm twice your age and your friend's mom zone." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop criticizing my son for his table manners. He said, "It's man things, you wouldn't understand." He acted surprised when I blew my top and told him to leave. FML
Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horseshit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
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Top comments
papygeorges 17
Damn Is that why I'm still single? Why didn't anybody tell me instead of just kicking me in the balls?!
Johnatron 18
Well then...
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Comments (122)
nysucker 8
He didnt learn that from me. This must mean you didn't teach him well growing up because if you would of this would of never happened
sprints54 19
It is to some
shadowshalf 8
It's not his fault he might be a little special
coffeelicious 11
You'd think he'd have learnt by now after the many nights being alone with a handprint on his cheek.
FitFriday 32
Sounds like a keeper
carrotcart 15
classy kid.
NPN_Scorpio 16
Context is everything. In a somewhat kinky relationship it might be music to her ears. But to a woman you're not with, or when the kinkometer reads 0, it's just sexual harassment.
JustStella 28
I'm inclined to believe there's something more going on... I don't think anyone would sincerely think that was a compliment unless they had some social disability. Or maybe he's just a dick.
charliewhippet 9
Who the hell was he saying it to, that you heard about it?!
c_wyld 21
A true modern day fairy tale.