Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old-son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was nice to my son's friend. He's 27 and needs to get a life, so now he won't stop texting me and flirting. I will have to escort him back, not just to the "friend zone", but to the "I'm twice your age and your friend's mom zone." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop criticizing my son for his table manners. He said, "It's man things, you wouldn't understand." He acted surprised when I blew my top and told him to leave. FML
Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horseshit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
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Top comments
papygeorges 17
Damn Is that why I'm still single? Why didn't anybody tell me instead of just kicking me in the balls?!
Johnatron 18
Well then...
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Comments (122)
madmonster25 14
The fact that you have to TELL HIM and he's 23, you're a pretty shithouse parent, sorry, but pull up you're parenting socks and stop having a ******** for a son
dadoftheyear 3
You know i usually just read and enjoy the FML's but I needed to create an account just to answer your ignorant comment. I'm so sorry that I can't control what my adult son says or does. I raised him to the best of my ability and taught him respect. I have 2 other kids that can vouch for that. Once your child grows up and ventures out on his own its up to him what kind of person he becomes, and as a parent you can only hope that everything thing you taught em sticks with em and they make the right decisions in life. But you better believe I set him straight. Anyways that's my rant thanks for be a judgmental tw*t. Oh and fyi he got that from his doucebag of a friend who was "teaching" how to get women after a string of bad luck.
limabeans101029 21
113- A person's actions are NOT entirely a result of the way they were raised. Parents can definitely have a big influence, but once you grow up and/or leave home you become your own person and form your own opinions, beliefs, attitudes etc. Plus parents aren't the only people you'll ever be influenced by- friends, the media etc. can be just as important.
mosquito19 14
I wonder where he got that idea from.
rockwrench 18
Sounds like your 23yo son acts like he is a 10yo. Have to say I really don't think a 10yo would say that. I'm thinking YDI.
jhoe89 13
momma taught him well...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I think everyone is jumping to conclusions that the father is the one to blame. Not saying he isn't, but considering the things on TV these days, plus what's all over the Internet and what kids hear and say at school, it's not surprising that the kid picked this up. Though at 23, he should certainly know better.
withered 30
Is he challenged? Not trying to be offensive but he seems so.
DarknessIsLove 6
Well that just chokes me up
Jane_D0e 0
I think it is
NineeCat 32
You've gotta wait a few dates, for those kinky games.. O.o
amndude 3
hes savage