Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
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Top comments
MrJentipede 2
Thanks for the heads up, mom.
mucrew 0
you should have said "yea i agree"! and gotten into a deep discussion with her...so she'll feel really awkward too! haha
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Comments (177)
screweverything 0
FYL cuz your mom should know better than to talk to her child about that, but YDI cuz you could've said something to her
jaybrown 0
#20 STFU. This is a funny FML. Leave the author alone F Y L!!!
animalfreak4ever 0
I agree
pchands00 0
yea, #20.. shut the f up. this shit is just funny! FYL!
quietgirl 0
1.) I would have engaged in this conversation, unless the OP is a guy... that'd be just too weird. 2.) If the OP is a guy, I hope he told her that he did not want to have this discussion and changed topic 3.) You could have completely ignored her 4.) Be grateful that your parents, well your mom, is so open about that. Most moms (at least from what i know) will not be that open about anything, especially sex.
p0kegeek 4
just think about it. she probably orgasmed on the night you were conceived. and so did your dad. making you. you owe your life to your parents' orgasms. happy thoughts.
fermata 0
My mom does that too, just not to the same extent. As long as she refrains from asking about specifics of MY sex life, I don't see what the problem is.
RJB 0
http://www.fmylife.com/sex/2257216 These two FMLs go hand in hand.
cha40_fml 0
I'm sorry... FYL.
pleasetryagain 0
#22 and #23, so- an FML can't be a YDI just because some people are amused by it?
smiley_girl 0
FYL.