howler
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Make it rain
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
gas money
Reno, United States
Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Addict
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Anonymous
Walnut, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Keesha
Loveland, United States
Kinky
Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML
Anonymous
Fort Lauderdale, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
How could you?
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
ikungfuyou
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Top comments
x_Cupcakes 0
lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.
hideyoself 4
You cheep bastard
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Comments (128)
Kyakan 1
OP is a god among men and should be honored as such.
enlitenbank 0
For rubbing thousand maybe million of men's asshole. **** and sperm residue all over himself? To each his own...
Kyakan 1
People use $20 bills as toilet/tissue paper? News to me.
enlitenbank 0
Some do for pranks, for sure. But so many people touch their balls, dick, asshole. Get sperm, snot or piss on their hands wiping it off somewhere. Picking their nose etc. And so it goes on and on for year after year between houndreds of thousand of people. Coins and bills are so disgusting. If you don't care about that, good for you. But I for one always wash my hands after dealing with money.
enlitenbank 0
Say only 1/1000 people don't wash their hands after the bathroom or sex (and im being generous here, people are gross. The number is probably only 9/10 people wash their hands..). That will still add up to thousand of people grabbing that bill with filthy hands getting wahtever residue they have on their fingers on the money.
InASortOfRunicRh 0
It's actually only 2/3 of people that wash their hands after they use the washroom :)
kibbleskid911 0
that just made me realise how disgusting money is....
michiiGii 1
You have nothing better to do with $400 than rub it all over yourself? (
Jimboom 12
I hope you were doing this over clothes, or they were fresh bills from the bank. Otherwise you might catch something.
zafuckbat 3
why on earth would you do that?
Troll1 0
why not?
freelife571 4
now,trade those 20 bills in for all singles so it looks like you have a lot more,then go buy something sweet
bleedingroses 0
awkward......
xxmollyxx 25
That's not even a lot of bills to be rubbing all over yourself. Try singles, 400 bills would make it more exciting.
freakinglaugher 10
you should of yelled you were masturbating, then she wouldn't of found out lol
Jessephine 0
omg,bills which r full with bacteria...
SirEBC 7
Along with everything else..
fester420 2
$400? really? you can't even buy anything with $400. maybe a cheap mp3 player
BlackHoleSuns 0
I don't know where you are from but in America you can buy a damned good mp3 player for 400 bucks! It's known as an IPod touch. Ever heard of an IPod? Well they are not $400.
marinus_fml 20
Maybe in zimbabwian dollars. A cheap mp3 player here costs like $30. with $400 you'll get an xbox here...
fAiRyMaN3 0
**** you I would die for 4 hundred dollars
Anaxes 5
#118 - Then you're just a ******* scrub. I could only buy 80% of a GTX 580 with that.