Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light, she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are." FML
Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage." When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
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Top comments
valalvax 13
report her plates, it's at least a $100 fine per kid
aussie_gemini 5
it's illegal to smoke in cars with children under 16 here... although it's idiotic to smoke around any child, any time!
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Comments (201)
sailorzoe 14
Ghetto fabulous.
impregnator 0
how does that make her ghetto?
PassTheDutch 0
more like redneck.
sgtrobswifey 0
More like white trash. There's a BIG difference between redneck, and white trash. That's offensive to me, having plenty of family members who are rednecks. White trash is just that.. TRASH!
counterfit 10
Australia, the Alabama of the rest of the world.
shannonreneee 11
OH HELLLLLLL NO! Hehe, we are not all bogans!
trick619 0
I going to go with white trash rednecks
sara8866 8
Anyone who smokes in the car with their children in the backseat is ghetto!!!!
khaya 9
To bad you didn't see the dead biker in the trunk.
mintcar 10
59, really? Tell me more about how being " ghetto" works, since you seem to know so much about it. I don't understand how that makes her white trash either. She /is/ stupid though. Wrong also.
callofduty4life 0
what did she do wrong?
ejejeje 0
oh and 86, you're so right because your opinion is much more significant? you're a ******* idiot. unless since you're black that means you know all about being ghetto.
mintcar 10
"Unless since I'm black I know all about being ghetto?" ^Wait...what?! And /I'm/ the idiot?
mintcar 10
It's not my fault you lack basic reading comprehension skills. You might want to re-read my above statement. Herpderp
hihi1212 1
me to ... your pretty hot baby ;)
hihi1212 1
talking about 56 btw
Bravo11 14
56's profile pic is basically a fourth of his face. How do you know that he's hot? Smh
gutzzzz 0
you're all wrong. ghetto refers to an area of housing, so unless you have reason to believe she was living in her car.... ghetto doesn't have a place in this xD
impregnator 0
yay mintcar has a shirt on
ElementTruth 2
Completely agree, nevermind whatever word you use. Stupid people like this make me sick. it scares me how blind humans can be.
mintcar 10
LOL at impregnator.
beccusmaximus 0
How do we know she's white? Or not white? Or Asian? Or any other race in between? ****, does that shit even matter? No, this bitch is trashy no matter what.
69_jackson_69 0
SMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMH shut the **** up about SMH, I don't even know what it means. By the way that's not an encouragement for everyone to post random answers to the monomial SMH.
prince122 0
woh OP didnt say she was white
WishResign 0
none of this matters. not any of it. I understand you ppl have your opinions but it's gotten to the point where an adult needs to step in & say that #1 was just being funny. nothing more, nothing less. get over it, kids.
Superflyshyguy 0
SMH = Smart Mouthed Hoes!
hihi1212 1
102 because i can see half and its hot!!!
CommonSenseKarma 17
Wow, that was ghetto.
nerdchic 5
you have to live in the south to actually understand these terms lol
CommonSenseKarma 17
Damn, I must not know what ghetto means MY APOLOGIES
AceArctic 4
I'm getting really sick of the "politically correct" arguments on here. Ghetto, redneck, white trash are all slang to mean pretty much the same thing so get over yourselves and grow up. PC is just a lame excuse to be an ass wipe. Hihi1212 the other half of his face could be f***ed up like Twoface. Don't assume.
TrueTexan 0
33- agreed!(= love your profile too! I ain't creepin I just had to see what the picture was lol
nalia18 8
again i say: her type of education is corn x corn= biscutt... now eat your dinner pumpkin
skya_leigh 0
actually it is kind of ghetto. in some states its illegal to smoke with kids in the car.
ksc686 0
How about just ignorant? 1.) You don't know if she's white, so she can't be "white trash" 2.) Redneck doesn't describe her actions you dickheads quit being so stereotypical 3.) The same from 2 applies to her being ghetto. Think....learn before you speak. She's just an ignorant bitch and hopefully her kids don't end up like her!
TehFMLKing 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You will get the last laugh when she crashes and all her children die. :)
franniedottp 8
^ I second this
lmaoatall 6
I third this
TehFMLKing 0
Geez you guys, I wasn't being serious!
TheDrifter 24
I thought you were lauding her acceptance of her place in the grand scheme of Darwinian evolution.
impregnator 0
so what if your not serious. ppl on fml like to hide Their evil or stupidity by saying "I'm joking"
C6Racer 0
Are you all stupid? Who the hell says "I'm joking" after saying a joke on FML. Newbies smh.
Bano360 25
You people don't have a sense of humour.
KiddNYC1O 22
In the process, she hit a light pole causing it to fall on Bano360's head killing him instantly.
Burbman 1
itl be ok ppl, I promise
docscientist 10
Actually drifter, she's well on her way of being a success in Darwinian evolution. She reached reproductive age, and spawned offspring. She's more successful at this point than me for the latter.
kaylaroxxurmom 0
hahahahaha funniest thing I've ever read!
MyDogTastesBad 0
If that did happen, 1 less idiot and her 3 to-be idiots. I agree with 2.
1234567789 0
so true :)
EvilPotato 15
she could get arrested for smoking with kids in the car. Just saying.
kubleeka 0
I agree with two. Totally.
laden_swallow09 35
And me. There is NO fixing stupid. And the bitch has THREE future dumbasses in tow? May as well take them out of the gene pool now before they do any real damage.
starreidy 4
lol.. you could of at least just said "when the 3 of them are in the hospital" but no... you killed them lol
sinnerg 0
curse her all u wsnt but leave the kids out.. ;(
UrDunSon 0
I don't get this? She cuts you off beeping and while she's beeping you hear "stupid ****** who needs a proper education" Your saying she said all that in a couple seconds implying that the speed limit wasn't above 25mph.
cookiegirl1354 5
Well the children didn't do anything wrong it is just the fact that she is a dumb bitch who doesn't deserve the privileges of life.
YacL 15
Don't worry about it, what does she know about you?
MrBobby_fml 7
#3 it would be easier to shrug off if she (and many other road users) hadn't felt the need to try and RUN MOTORCYCLISTS OFF THE ROAD. For no apparent reason. It sucks that people do that.
nerdchic 5
yeah on the Trace people actually target bicyclist to try and run them over or knock them off.. idk if this post said bicycle or motetcycle but they are all treated the same/. but sometimes these "cyclists" don't know how to get out of the way and hold up traffic
WallyTheWombat 0
Yea lots of people don't seem to see me when I'm on my motorcycle and other people are really rude to me if I'm not going as fast as they want or w/e. Another thing that irks me is when people on motorcycles cut between cars at a light or during traffic to be in the front. One day I might "accidentally" open my door at the wrong time.
FYLorYDIohno 12
Maybe someone should listen to their own advice. OP pay no mind to people like that, or do something that would piss them off even more. :)
yukora 0
You must have the vision and hearing of Superman to be able to notice all of that in the half second it takes a car to pass a bike....
Rashadd 6
loo
Rashadd 6
lol** damn autocorrect..
Cinn_fml 23
Not to mention the woman could have slowed down to yell at him and therefore likely had the window open. Though I doubt her sentence took long to say. OP - Just ignore her, what does she know about you? She's stupid enough to not make her kids wear seatbelts and smoke in front of them.
mismonroe 0
If she cut OP, I'm assuming that OP was behind the vehicle. Very quick observations.
Cinn_fml 23
But to cut someone off don't you have to overtake them, just badly? Therefore surely there must have been some time during which the car and bike were side by side...
nikki9tails 3
yay Cinn is back
valalvax 13
report her plates, it's at least a $100 fine per kid
aussie_gemini 5
it's about $270 here in aust where OP is, but I'm not sure if that's per kid or car!
Blacksmokehick 0
damn straight
Pizzamaster 0
You had time to notice the kids not wearing seat belts?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That's not really a hard thing to notice if the kids aren't sitting properly.
ElementTruth 2
Well, the one hanging off the window kind've gave it away.
underguarded 20
The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
T3P33_fml 0
and then in this case the tree falls over and crushes the apples.
codenamel 1
She's the one who's life sucks! Your the better person, keep on biking. :)
jess6blondie9 3
You don't know that.. OP could be an abusive, drug addict, child molester.
shibainu519 0
114 way to be negative. :P
SirEBC 7
You should've thrown your crowns up and pulled your glock on the bitch to show her what the **** was up.
TehFMLKing 0
I'd be careful of those kids, if they have glocks of their own this is gonna end in bloodshed.