Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter told me I was blocking her view of her puppy. She said, "Dad, your boobs are too long!" FML
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML
Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why did you have a two year old in a hot tub and a communal one at that? They have signs at my club stating young children aren't to go in and I researched why. The temps are too high for little people who can't regulate their body temp yet. And the ick factor is unreal. They get yeast infections, UTIs, and other infections eadily from there. Eh, maybe that only applies to babies and not toddlers but better safe than sorry.
Zmeilerr 22
Oh god, she likes the fat ones
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
Zmeilerr 22
Oh god, she likes the fat ones
sweet_candy_ 17
1 she is just a kid.
yourafedexbabyXD 0
well 2 she started early then
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Never too young for boobies(:
fakeaccountX 6
What the hell are you teaching that girl?
logiibearr 0
2 u sexy
AmazonGurrl 0
what 2 year old knows what boobs are? what are you teaching your kid, OP?
mfmylifesrsly 30
um quite a few do, i mean they nurse on their mom, notice mommy has them and daddy doesnt (hopefully lol) so she'll want to know what they are, or if she has a little new born sibling she'll find out. now knowing what sex is at that age isnt good, i found out when i was 3 D:
colombiancartel 0
2y/o's arent idiots they notice shit
KingDingALing 9
9- I would like to know what you thought about sex when you were 3. I bet it was really funny.
mfmylifesrsly 30
well, i wasnt supposed to know, my 5 year old sister found out from my mom and my mom told my sister not to tell me, but she did anyway and when i found out i screamed "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!" for like 2 weeks straight, i didnt say it though when my dad was home lol
yourafedexbabyXD 0
uh and you didnt know what they were?
KingDingALing 9
Hahahahaha, I can see that as an FML. Didn't your mom tell your dad though?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Y'all are lame. all I thought about at 2 was gettin pussy, and when my cat wasnt around, food!
DocBastard 40
troll, I hate myself for laughing at that. God damn you.
jckbco 0
exactly
mrbeastmode 0
oo ( ) I can puff my face too...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
You made 2 grammatical errors in 1 short comment, Doc, and you're complimenting me?! Is something wrong?
DocBastard 40
I see no grammatical mistakes. I intentionally did not capitalize "troll" because that's how it appears in your name. What am I missing here?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Two spaces before the G, and while my name isn't capitalized, it's still at the beginning of a sentence, unless you have proof that that is correct. doesn't really matter though, I'm not used to this grammar Nazi stuff. no need to get mad, I was just saying
mfmylifesrsly 30
there technically is supposed to be 2 spaces between sentences
Sirin_fml 47
I think you all suck. Just sayin'. Oh, is this... can only the cool kids comment here? plzno corect mah spelnig
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Even so, he'd need to be consistent with it... I feel like an ass now, I was trying to make a light joke, obviously I'm not a huge grammar nut...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Maybe I should just worry about my own grammar(:
djbrooke12345 0
ya . u should .
DocBastard 40
That's Grammar Naziing to the extreme. I'm not mad - don't think for a minute that I'm above making mistakes, but those were both intentional. On the iPhone I only put one space after a full stop because I'm so goddamned lazy.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well aren't we all?
C6Racer 0
No
ilovebrookematso 0
um my niece is two and she knows what boobs are!
samiboy9 0
what are you teaching your camera poor cameras gonna barf
JessIsabel 0
**** up Derro :/
sexaybitch 14
At least she was taught to whisper and not yell the first 3 times. If my mom can't hear me, I will yell it out as well.
YaLuckyGal 0
Kids are brutally honest. Ah, the fun of children.
BabesYourAStar 0
You daughter made me laugh. but yeah, what did you teach her?!
bigbadtim 7
Out of the mouth of babes.
RaySK 2
Comes the words of wisdom.
jakeisawake 3
Did you shake your head in agreement after this? Hopefully, the old man left... I find it pretty weird to be in a hot tub with an old fellow.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Why did you have a two year old in a hot tub and a communal one at that? They have signs at my club stating young children aren't to go in and I researched why. The temps are too high for little people who can't regulate their body temp yet. And the ick factor is unreal. They get yeast infections, UTIs, and other infections eadily from there. Eh, maybe that only applies to babies and not toddlers but better safe than sorry.
stronghand0331 17
Not to mention the pedophiles..
jakeisawake 3
Which is definitely what the old guy with drooping boobies is.
stronghand0331 17
Exactly. Clearly he was touching his boobs.. In front of mother and child.
jakeisawake 3
Nah, his hands weren't visible, they were down below...
sharpschruter22 0
amen
KYS75 0
ImaginaryFoe......... STFU!!!! your comments are horrendous. KYS BIIIIIATCH.
perdix 31
Were you jealous?
yourafedexbabyXD 0
bet she was, stupid old men having bigger boobs then her XD
LoveINKs 0
You should NEVER HAVE A SMALL CHILD IN A HOT TUB. Why were u even there? A public pool is had enough filth... Gay men meet in the hot tubs & pools of our public pools &/or gyms. Freakin disgusting I actually pay to see this crap & workout... finally have separate sauna @ our facility.
jakeisawake 3
So do lesbians; let's not forget to mention the straight people as well... Gay men aren't the only ones attracted to hot tubs and pools for fornicating and "meeting". If this irritates you so much, then start taking laps around your neighborhood; better yet, buy your own gym set.
DocBastard 40
LoveINKS are you completely mental? "Gay men meet in public pools and gyms?" Are you senile?? Let me tell you something sweetheart, gay men meet (ie ****) EVERYWHERE, as do gay women, straight men, and straight women. In the grocery store, at the gym, in the library, at sporting events (yes, gay men like sports, too), in clubs, on the street, on the subway, and probably at your house while you aren't home. Are you going to avoid all those places too because they're so filthy? Grow the **** up.
MuchDance90s 0
it's true. the gayest sex ever, happens in his bed, in his mind, during midnight fap time that's why he gets all antsy about gay people......... wants to distance himself
lovinit5683 0
Haha! When I was younger all the way up to 12 I use to scream out what I thought about people in public.. Kids are always the most honest, especially with people they don't know(: