Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for three years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
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Top comments
jamila123 5
eww. Rule number one, never take a shit in a guys house your just starting to date.
allmidnighteyes 11
I thought rule number one was to always have Plan B pills and a coat hanger ready... Or have I been going about life the wrong way?
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Comments (88)
allmidnighteyes 11
woooo! mudbutt! you belong on people of walmart :]
aaaaa12345_fml 0
Also, please remember to use complete sentences, not fragments.
FarSide 23
...because some people can only think in sentences, not words...
ifyouseekamy666 0
ewwy x(
DrFuzzyPickles 9
82 - Don't really think she did it on purpose, it's also not really her fault.
emilylovesyouu 0
LMAO, how sad. YDI, for your stupidness.
xcl0wdx 0
YDI =]
jamila123 5
eww. Rule number one, never take a shit in a guys house your just starting to date.
allmidnighteyes 11
I thought rule number one was to always have Plan B pills and a coat hanger ready... Or have I been going about life the wrong way?
TenebrificTurtle 0
She shouldn't have tried to flush the baby!
audiogasmic 0
rofl. wow. this is just epic.
bobbymullet 11
^ uhmm..alright. soo. I personally would consider that a winnnnn. xD
DumbStruck79 0
Thats crap
re2K5 0
haha, pun intentional?
EasilyUnamused 2
Shit happens. Wait...all day?
jisaac09 25
LOL???? WTF??? it took you all day to pick out a plunger.... "we need to make this quick, ***** getting all over my floor" "wait, should we get the wooden handle or the plastic one" "this one dont feel like a good enough one to unclog ur epic shit" "maybe we should go to another walmart this one dont seem to have the selection i desire" "but this one comes with a mini plunger for the sink"..... ????????????
GJMO 0
Shit Happens!! YOU did not mess up his toilet in one use, not matter what you blew into it. He has probably been flushing condoms, that will back things up in no time. Poor you, in so many ways.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Not true, I can destroy a toilet in a single use. It's quite easy, for us special people who go once a week...
hk_fml 9
that is unfortunate.
GJMO 0
my goodness you sound proud. Yuck!!!!!
Subtext 10
Some day you'll remember this and laugh about it!
GJMO 0
How is she stupid? Just wondering , if I stay at someones place, she said she flew there, I do crunches in their bathroom! What do you wait till you fly home?
hk_fml 9
Aww shit happens! xD I hope he gets over it, I'm sure he will.
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Does he live in Aspen? And are you a limo driver?
MegIsGreat 0
Hahahahaha.
jisaac09 25
Dumb and Dumber??? I'm pretty sure it was the pet groomer. But its ok, im pretty sure they'll let you play in the next one...
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Look on the bright side, it could be worse. XD The first time I flew to see the guy I love, I destroyed the toilet at his parents' place. I clogged it so horribly that the thing backed up and vomited its contents so much that the wave of horror reached all the way to the living room carpet outside the toilet room. Great memories, the two of us panicking and rushing to fix the mess before his parents saw the tragedy... :X
ilovecowboys 0
aww bless ya moemoemoe! That is bad enough to deal with when you're on your own with only the Drain Doctor :/