Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for three years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
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Top comments
jamila123 5
eww. Rule number one, never take a shit in a guys house your just starting to date.
allmidnighteyes 11
I thought rule number one was to always have Plan B pills and a coat hanger ready... Or have I been going about life the wrong way?
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Comments (88)
rockstarK9 0
sexy
GJMO 0
I get u willinever
wellinever 5
Thank you.
blastvortex 4
You "spent the day" running a half-hour errand? Yeah, right. Oh, and don't mark prepositional phrases as sentences. It makes you look stupid. If you can't write, then find someone else to make the original post for you.
SekC 0
I love people who can't find anything in a post to make fun of the OP for, so they turn to grammar to attempt to make themselves feel better. 54 is a prime example of the sad way of life some people lead.
AnUThughUHdItBad 0
haha wow i feel bad that you clogged it! and that for the fact you are from iowa....i am from iowa.... lmao
DefyingGravity 0
I always love going to Wal-Mart with my friends. I wouldn't consider my day wasted if I spent it in Wal-Mart with my boyfriend.
Suchaloserx3 0
hahaha Lmaooo
fuckingshitt343 0
1... how do you spend a whole day in walmart buying a plunger? 2... why didn't he already have a plunger?
justmeagirl 0
I'd say your life rocks- he still loves you, even when you're poo-ey :) not all of us get that.
PistachioNut94 0
hey guys, how many idiots does it take to buy a plunger at Wal-Mart?
1234five 0
Omg I love this one !