Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML
Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
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Top comments
btopishere 1
That's how Peter Parker was created.
Crudez0rz 0
Who the **** masturbates into a sock?!?! hahaha
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Comments (286)
chuteboxe39 0
jesus the thought of a spider on my **** just makes me shudder. i ******* hate spiders. i hope i dont have a nightmare of spiders biting my donger tonight
0zymandias 0
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/9/9a/Epic_thread08s.jpg Epic Link, NSFW
fcbarcafan19 0
wow dude i'm surprised it didn't bite your ****.
oootay 0
"Did the spider call you afterwords? If not, you must've be bad." hahahahaha thats the best comment! did the spider call you afterwards... haha awesome.
wudig10 0
hahahahaha you ****** a spider!!! you're gonna become spiderman....or at least your **** will
silentfirefly 0
I cringed when I read that. That is unbelievably disgusting, at least to me, because of my intense fear of spiders. I can't believe it didn't bite you. I would be so scarred.
silentfirefly 0
@19 I laughed until I was teary. That spider's hypothetic FML is phenomenal.
deuce_wild 0
thats one way of loosing your virginity
Gloeihdamae 0
#62 - Yes, you would have had a stroke. In fact, many strokes. Also, if it bit you, you can say you were blown by a spider, which has to be a great ice-breaker at parties.
blondie3689 1
haha maybe u should keep ur socks in a cleaner place...