Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML
Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML
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Top comments
deja54 0
" I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady..." Oh I bet you did.
epicfail13337 4
HAHAHAHAHAHA She wishes that petrol was your...you know.
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Comments (138)
Ox_Baker 0
How is this any way bad for you?
fml1222 0
did u pounce on that?
caneut 0
first
djb23 0
old people need love too
Failzoid 0
Uh. No dude. No you aren't first. Please learn how to count :) Also. Hot damn. Squirt her again you beast. ;)
Karya_fml 0
#43, thanks for making me laugh. And @ OP, be kind, it might be only squirting she can have now.
pongmaster 0
hahahaha best FML ever
fireflies2012 0
18 fail
owneditup 0
in case u didn't notice 18 is joking, he commented on the first meaning he obviously knew he wasn't, learn how to understand a joke...
SoccerForTheWin 5
HEY! #1 is Sarah Jessica Parker
528Alice491 3
That's awesome. How many people can say they got a lady to moan simply by squirting her? Even if it is with gasoline, and even if she is old. Older with more experience. Double points to you my friend!
Nat52482 25
Because that's creepy lol
Everlasting_fml 0
O_O.. Creepy.
Cjw1220 0
I took it out and squirted a little on the old lady, that's what he said!
Jambone2 0
Congrats on being a granny magnet.
epicfail13337 4
HAHAHAHAHAHA She wishes that petrol was your...you know.
dancin303 0
you can say it. theres many words for it to. but one of the more common is penis. say it with me. p-e-n-i-s. or dick or **** or balls. and if you want to be a little more creative weiner. :D and yes we all know.
Wheats62 0
Yellow?
dopefresh 0
@96 lmao made my day
munchly 17
WTF #96? yellow? hahah that isn't the S-P-E-R-M someone has either been pissing in/on their girlfriends or hasn't reached that age yet :P
scarletchamber 0
sperm....
meanie_monday 0
I thought you couldn't overfill the tank because of the pressure censor or whatever it is
Ninja_Cat 0
thats what i thought
testing_fml 0
He's from Malaysia. I don't think they have those.
mynameisnotstacy 0
maybe he overfilled for what she paid for? if she only paid for $10 worth of gas or something...
PsychoX 0
They don't always work. And they don't detect pressure, they detect when the gas backs up in the filler line the whole way back to the nozzle, if there is a glitch it can definitely overflow.
geesquared 0
yeah, i've been to indonesia, which is a lot like malaysia, and the gas there is... pretty bad. haha granny love
cheesefest 0
Yup, I'm pretty sure they only recently discovered oxygen, the concept of zero and the wheel there.
JaredxLikezxBoyz 0
Really... -_-
JaredxLikezxBoyz 0
Really... -_-
Rythace 0
Must be some old and crappy gas station
MSJ91 1
You need to be more subtle in your ogling XP
TikkleMeTorry_fml 0
What a horny old lady lmao
itsgen 16
ohh gosh old ppl are getting creepier now of days
deja54 0
" I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady..." Oh I bet you did.
Signposthead 0
I literally lol'd at this.
DearGravity 0
Ahaha, nice one.
lynnesey 0
win.
darkbluemango 0
I love you.
misterman2 3
Me too.
xxXChiiXxx 2
OMG XDD
genius_man16 1
You win a free internet. Seriously, i literally rofled at this.
jmar87 0
Thanks for making me glee.
pinky2 0
ha!
ILIEKGIRLS 5
lol'd. a winrar is you
8ranko 0
ahahahahah! lmao! xD
CableX17 0
LOL! Epic Win:)
DisappearingRose 18
lmfao that ******* funny!
YoungTechnique 0
Uhhh...don't even wanna begin to imagine what she was thinking...