Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML
Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML
Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
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Top comments
stevie1359 0
Couldnt you smell it? Lol
swasticop 0
As long as you didn't have sex on it...
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Comments (211)
StillOnTheRise 0
Not the sharpest tool in the shed are we?
jallred254 4
Nope but your the biggest
upyourzlolz 11
Are you being tied down?
jallred254 4
I don't get it?
shocky377_fml 0
Did u make i into a suit like Bear Grills.
foxtail8 0
after OP drank their own piss.
enonymous 9
You just contaminated my crime scene. This Seal was a victim of foul play... And now I can't tell if the semen found was yours, mine or another suspect
yummylicious 5
k.
sourgirl101 29
You can tell by the suspect's fruit diet.
enonymous 9
It tastes a bit nutty like hazelnut. WAIT A MINUTE this is fat bastards stool sample
nixter5 18
You know you have been playing too much COD when you start T-Bagging dead seals!
NecroParade 3
You know you've been playing too much COD when you relate everything to it.
nixter5 18
Agreed.
Badtz_maru_fml 0
How awkward.
Monkeyone 0
Ewww that's just gross.
socialdisease 1
At least you didn't come across a beached whale. Nothing attractive about that.
jallred254 4
I don't think there's anything attractive about a dead seal
BIEBERSLAYER 10
What do you find attractive about a dead seal? Am I missing something.
CryMoreFMLs 15
The smell is quite erotic after 4 days of baking in the hot sun on a beach.
HomeAl0ne 20
I've come across a dead whale once. I didn't get any enjoyment out of it, it was was just for money. Man, those Japanese businessmen love some kinky shit, don't they?
SherryA 15
That is pretty gross... But that poor seal probably suffered :/ I think the funny part of this post was the nickname.. "squishylog". Lmfao. Funny stuff.
DeathbatAttack 17
Wow. How did you not notice?
hazardoussmiles9 22
It could've been worse. The seal could've been alive, and it could've eaten you. I don't think seals eat humans though, but there's always a first time for everything!