Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are extremely active swingers by finding their online profile with photos of my mom with a dildo. I guess those out-of-town trips weren't just holidays. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML
Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents, who are in their late 50s, having sex. That's not the worst part, it's understandable; we all have needs. However, I walked in on them doing it on my bed. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML
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Top comments
joliesbebes 0
well they are on vacation so let them have their fun crabby!
KMilliron 2
Define blood curdling...
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Comments (94)
drew2711 0
At least your parents' didn't ask you to assist in applying their nipple cream on each other
g_willikers24 17
^agreed! *gag*
CaliforniaCheese 0
Sounds like the start of The Aristocrats if you ask me.
faithe92 0
blood curdling....sex? care to extrapolate?
BabyBlaze 0
Lmao. I can't remember what that's from,but it's so funny!
TapialPaado 1
News flash: old people have sex too. I mean they're going out of their way to keep it hidden to spare your feelings, what more do you want from them?
cptmorgan15 2
Don't threaten me with a good time.
epfdwefc19 0
yea because you never have and never will have sex right?
Egnar 19
What are you 5?. . .Have you never used that excuse before with friends while on a mini-vacation?. . .Or even while just out at the mall? Your parents and grandparents were trying to respect you as an individual and not give you the details on their sex lives by being discreet but you had to go in ruin it. And for what purpose, seriously?. . .Was it really important to go and see if they were really running to the local grocery store to pickup fruits and vegetables for dinner? What were you expecting to find with your detective skills? Your parents selling drugs out of a van and your grandparents the Super Secret M16 agents?. . .this isn't the movies.
SirEBC 7
Dude..relax.
cptmorgan15 2
The mall?
Egnar 19
Yes the mall - Out with friends. . "You know what guys, me and "so-and-so" need to go do some errands, we'll meet up with you a bit later.
69_jackson_69 0
He's not 5, but I have reason to believe you are.
Zaros_fml 24
The M16 is a weapon. you mean MI-6. :P
trumpet95 0
eeewwwwww.....gross!!!