Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
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Top comments
lex1459 38
I watched the Sound of Music with a 3 and 7 year old I was babysitting. The one and only question they had was "Who is Hitler?" Now THAT was bad.
Nissi 17
That's precious! Good luck with the talk.
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Comments (59)
Denise1988 13
I just had that conversation with my 7 year old son. He basically just yelled "I've been eating animals?!?" for a few minutes. I asked if he wanted to be a vegan and he said "No. I can't believe it...chicken is so delicious."
laden_swallow09 35
Sounds like the perfect time to take him to the farm, and by extension, the slaughterhouse. I wonder if he thinks chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows?
usnwife 18
My son was 5 when his grandparents got a cattle farm. He told us he wanted to help Grandpa milk the cows when we got to visit. We told him theyvwere beef cows not milk cows, and after a minute of serious thought he tells "well, can help Grandpa beef the cows then?" Adorable. We then had a talk about how animals can be food for people, he wasnt upset at all, and will often talk about it at dinner now... "mom, this chicken used to be alive. then someone chopped off his head and pulled the feathers out, now we get to eat it!" Oh the joys of kids...
ButterSweet 15
I see a future vegetarian.
parrchristianna 14
My 3 year old knows that because I have never shielded her from it. She knows some animals,are raised to be food and she is fine with that knowledge.
pink_raindrops 26
I taught my niece this at about 3 years old too. Whenever she asked what I was making I'd tell her and explain a bit about where things come from and get her to make the noise the animal makes to make it more fun and silly at the same time.
bonbon1559 20
Follow-up after you tell him!
vikky538 29
Its hard to bring him to reality.
PunkPrincess_fml 11
Vegetarians don't have that problem.
sparkledoge 29
But they have plenty of health problems instead. Even if they deny it.
fohfuu 9
I was raised vegetarian and now eat meat, and the only health problems I have are hereditary mental health problems. It's anecdotal, but if you want to back up your claims with better evidence, go ahead.
TheOneMica 6
My parents told me about where meat comes from at a very early age (I don't know when they told me, but I definitely knew it at 5) and it didn't bother me. It was kind of sad, but I understood.
fohfuu 9
The only reason you wouldn't tell your kids where meat comes from is if you're ashamed of it. I eat meat, but I don't think I could ever raise my children on it.