Let him have his innocence
Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
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Top comments
lex1459 38
I watched the Sound of Music with a 3 and 7 year old I was babysitting. The one and only question they had was "Who is Hitler?" Now THAT was bad.
Nissi 17
That's precious! Good luck with the talk.
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Comments (59)
fpants2010 18
Last night my 5 year old said "turkeys won't be happy on Thanksgiving," so I asked why. "Well becauseee they're all gonna get eaten!" Gotta love kids :)
zaidthunder1 27
Hilarious!
xnemesis1981 15
My 5 y.o. boy has been vegetarian for two years now.
Colecto_fml 26
You do realize that children need protein in their diet in order to support healthy development?
sunsetlulu 3
You do realize other food has protein in it?
mimidamian 15
You do realize there's other ways to get protein right?
TayaLarkin 3
Kids are pretty resilient. I'm sure he's doing fine. From the age of 3-5, my little brother lived off of chicken nuggets and eggs. He's fine now..
scarlett3diaz 24
We, humans, are omnivores. So we need proteins from a plant based and meat filled diet.
sparkledoge 29
Do you realize meat and plants have different types of protein in it ?and that's the point when your specie is omnivorous. You need BOTH.
Aubade_fml 2
You actually don't need both. It's all to do with amino acids. 12 are manufactured by your body, 9 essential amino acids are found in food. Most vegetables contain all 9 essential amino acids, though a few are low in some areas compared to animal sources. Beans however, a staple of the vegan diet, are rich sources of all essential amino acids. Many vegetarians/vegans rely on complementary proteins, eating one food high in this and another high in that so they can balance out.. But most researchers say that's not even necessary.
doodlecloud 27
You definitely don't need both. If that were the case then all vegetarians would be dead. You need a certain variety ot vitamins, minerals, proteins, etc. etc. but they don't have to be from animals. You don't have to get them from tablet supplements either btw - a good vegetarian diet should be enough for most people without added extras.
nevereyes 31
No child, that young especially, shouldn't be vegan/vegetarian. That is completely unhealthy and bad for their development. Have your own diet but don't push it into others/children
lizlafluv98 10
I'm sure you've already spoken to your doctor about it, but don't worry about it. I have many patients who have been raised raw vegan since birth and they are the healthiest kids that come into my practice.
doodlecloud 27
74 Again, a vegetarian diet is not unhealthy if done properly. I'm not sure about vegan, as it cuts out many of the ingredients for good vegetarian cooking, but I can assure you that vegetarian is perfectly healthy. My brother and I were raised vegetarian and were and are fine. We certainly had better diets than most of our classmates.
be82tw 17
A bunch of wonky data about vegetarianism and nutrition here. Here is the (simplified) breakdown: Animal protein is what is called High Quality protein. It contains all the essentials and is very bio-available, as in you get more protein out of each gram you eat. There are better and worse sources among animal sources (chicken eggs are actually one of the highest quality sources for humans), but all are relatively dense and accessible. Plant protein is called Low Quality protein. It isn't really worse, just incomplete and harder to digest. To those claiming beans are complete, no they aren't, though Soy Beans come close. Typically a mix of beans and grains checks all of the boxes, though, and most people have no trouble getting enough grains without special effort. While a vegetarian body builder is rather unlikely, most people, including younger children, can healthily meet their protein requirements this way if they are diligent. For younger children, there are other considerations, though. Getting kids to take a B12 supplement is a special challenge. And MOST vegan/vegetarian diets in the U.S. were targeted at dieters, which mean a lot of these meals were lower calorie and not necessarily appropriate for growing children. And it is NOT at all ok to feed an infant a vegan diet.
mixximoo 24
Aw shame little children's innocence is the sweetest :)
lavapants 15
Sorry but if he's six and can't tell the difference yet, either is a little dumb or you are just a bad parent.
karankn 10
Has he been watching Bojack Horseman?? Specifically season 2 episode 5
oiler 21
Hey, be happy it wasnt your 16 year old son
Colon_Man 17
To that one, she had to explain that rubbers weren't just for your feet.
NickACD 27
Why the **** would erasers be for your feet?
FryingPanHero 11
When a mommy chicken and a daddy chicken love each other very much...
oiler 21
what you said is totally diffrent from the post.
Enslaved 38
Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Oh the cow in the meadow goes "moo" Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up And that's how we get hamburgers Now chickens!
TeacherTeacher 11
I once had to explain to a 12 year old that chickens were animals and they didn't start out as meat on Styrofoam wrapped in plastic.
dantee2005 33
I smell vegetarian or worse.... Vegan