Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
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Top comments
lex1459 38
I watched the Sound of Music with a 3 and 7 year old I was babysitting. The one and only question they had was "Who is Hitler?" Now THAT was bad.
Nissi 17
That's precious! Good luck with the talk.
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Comments (59)
Brandon1000 10
Well, he doesn't get those retarded genes from himself!
Lars93 18
he's 6 and still doesn't know ?
MariaGiovanni 25
We kill them. We also eat their unborn babies. On that note dinner tonight is fried chicken and fried eggs.
AandTFMLs 2
Oh that'd be tough to tell him... -Audrey
MrJoshTheEpic 1
just don't tell him
drosek89 20
I would probably just let it be. He'll figure it out eventually. No need to traumatize a child with a talk. It's more likely he'll understand it's natural when he's older - or go veg.
lizlafluv98 10
Talk to him about it, and if he says he doesn't want to eat animals anymore, respect him. I have many patients who have been raised raw vegan since birth, and they are the healthiest kids in my practice.
mwali02 32
lol. Does he really need to know? lol! Just kidding. Good luck with the chat. Bring Kleenex, just in case. And maybe serve something other than chicken for supper that evening. :)
wow2mylife 25
just serve salad for that night
ezrajab 22
Yea good luck on that
SolidSteak 5
so explain it already. ****, it's not a difficult concept. I knew when I was 5. what is wrong with you?