Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
Today, during a Zoom meeting, my 6 year-old daughter comes into my office, bloody all over, acting like nothing's wrong. She looks me dead in the eye and says, "Matilda's dead," and just walks out. Matilda is the neighbor's chicken. FML
Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
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Top comments
DragonMaiden7 15
I think your husband may be a sociopath...
kazekai8 11
Wtf? You do not show that shit to a kid and the first time I seen that was when I was 17. Good job for traumatizing the poor kid :<
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Comments (33)
kazekai8 11
Wtf? You do not show that shit to a kid and the first time I seen that was when I was 17. Good job for traumatizing the poor kid :<
Rabite 28
So why feed meat to children then, if you can't even show them how their food was "made"?
IHaveThePower 18
Ah yes, the old card of 'my kid doesn't understand X, so it must be evil!'. Because as we all know, kids are born with full knowledge of everything in the world, and school is just a way to let them express the true unifying theories of quantum and classic physics.
seasonedtoast 19
Why did the chicken cross the road? To stop from traumatising the small child (and avoid certain death!)
Glowworm56 27
This is not the right way to teach a child about life and death. That chicken was meant to be a family pet, not dinner for the family.
ViviMage 40
Some people raise their own food, and once a hen stops laying she is Sunday night Roast Chicken. But that is not the impression I get here.
DragonMaiden7 15
I think your husband may be a sociopath...
RichardPencil 32
Your chicken was named Jar Jar? Your husband should have shown your kid a Star Wars movie with Jar Jar Binks in it and the kid would’ve strangled the chicken himself!
Alex Neiva 17
what?? what does jar jar have to do with this father murdering the family pet in front of his toddler son?
Glowworm56 27
The OP's username is RIPJarJar. JarJar was probably the name of the poor chicken.
Tripartita 45
Based on this one show I watched, seeing things like that at an early age can give your child a "Dark Passenger" that will only leave at the conclusion of a protracted and unsatisfactory story arc.
Sinshine 28
That's cruel and seriously messed up... but I keep wondering... people keep chickens as pets? o.o
Glowworm56 27
Yes. Chickens can be pets and provide eggs too. My late pediatrician had chickens as pets.
Suaria 38
I grew up with chickens as pets. My parents liked how they didn't have to buy eggs for a couple of years.
thehaystackerine 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There's your problem right there. "pet" chicken. My 2 year old daughter knows that the birds in the yard, and the birds in the freezer are both chicken. And my 5 year old (who has fired a gun, operated the Bobcat, helps in the kitchen, and has seen me kill several foxes, and coyote that were after the chickens) requests a chicken by name(and yes they're labeled)for supper. Kids these days cant handle shit.
really_dad? 14
Your kids sound boards
mcdgaf 14
same!
Levvy 22
You never actually got around to saying what the "problem" was. You just echoed "pet chicken" and then tried to engage in "internet-tough-guy-by-proxy" (the only thing sadder than the run-of-the-mill internet tough guy) using your children. Try again. What precisely is the "problem" in a child crying because their parent intentionally killed one of their pets in front of them?
Rabite 28
Sounds like the father of the year...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Wow, your "kids" sound so hardcore. Good job raising them.
really_dad? 14
"Our pet"? "slaughtered"? It sounds like you couldn't give a smaller **** about its life. Don't call your animals a pet if you can kill them with no hesitation. They are your barn animal. If he was your pet, however, your husband's a bigger dick for killing a beloved chicken in front of your child.
Levvy 22
What in the heck are you talking about? Did we even read the same post? Where on earth did the OP say she could kill the chicken without a second thought? It's like you took the entire premise of the FML and included it as a hypothetical at the end of your post there like you'd read something that didn't just say exactly that.
GhostFox 34
"Our pet" implies that OP held affection toward the chicken. "Slaughtered" has negative connotations that imply she didn't approve of killing the chicken at all, not just him killing it in front of their child. Especially since it sounds like OP only found out what the husband had done AFTER he did it.
Lobby_Bee 18
More like a lesson on what's a pet animal and what's a dinner animal.
Levvy 22
Every pet you've ever had was edible. They're all dinner animals. But I bet you'd have been upset if someone ate one of them.