Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
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Top comments
lex1459 38
I watched the Sound of Music with a 3 and 7 year old I was babysitting. The one and only question they had was "Who is Hitler?" Now THAT was bad.
Nissi 17
That's precious! Good luck with the talk.
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Comments (59)
millie14225 31
i never had that issue. pork was always called piggy. venison was Bambi etc.
Headcrab 29
Explain to h8m that these animals are bred, with the sole purpose to be eaten. Thus, by slaughtering and eating them, we fulfill their ultimate purpose of existence. Their ultimate goal. Not eking them would be wasting the animals.
GAeroNKissR 26
LoL - as a mom myself, this made me laugh :-) Maybe having him help out in the kitchen with dinner will help...I think that's what may have eased the connection with my 2 boys. Or explain the food chain - a kid show could really help with that! Wild Kratts is amazing...and so are real life nature programs. They'll either get over it or become a vegetarian...just be supportive.
mattrd_fml 31
he's six and still doesn't know??
Internetflakes 13
"Well, usually there are butchers that chop that chicken up into itty bitty pieces for your hungry tummy!"
ragnarok1540 39
Maybe I am just evil, but If he was my son, right before explaining the connection between food and animals, I would offer him some cookies and call then "grandma" ...
Sheepiebeepie 26
My mother would wave at the cows and pigs saying "hi hot dog, hi hamburger" because she never wanted us to be freaked out about eating meat and she has something against vegetarians.
porkypinecupcake 8
the awesome thing about living in the country is that u experience the chicken from animal to food before your 6. lol
Kristen320 21
It makes sense. Beef vs cow. Pork vs. pig. I see where he is coming from.
worldclassrager 41
Hope he doesn't think hamburger is people from hamburg