Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
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Top comments
lex1459 38
I watched the Sound of Music with a 3 and 7 year old I was babysitting. The one and only question they had was "Who is Hitler?" Now THAT was bad.
Nissi 17
That's precious! Good luck with the talk.
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Comments (59)
Oktopussy 13
Same thing goes for cows, lamb, fish etc... it's going to be a long talk. My tipp : do them all at once ;)
lex1459 38
I watched the Sound of Music with a 3 and 7 year old I was babysitting. The one and only question they had was "Who is Hitler?" Now THAT was bad.
FitFriday 32
How did you explain it?
lex1459 38
Something along the lines of him being the worlds biggest bully who did some very, very mean things that they would learn about in school when they were older. I gave their parents a heads up when they got home in case the girls brought it up again, but it doesn't sound like they ever did!
lex1459 38
#8 I was going to say that he killed a lot of people, but they still fear the monsters under the bed, they don't need to fear the ones in the real world just yet.
teentee401 37
^I think you handled that very well.
millie14225 31
wow! you are good! i think, even better than my teachers!
lex1459 38
Wow!! I didn't expect to get such a positive reaction! Thank you so much everyone!
zaidthunder1 27
You're a good educator !
NickACD 27
You could have told them he killed himself though. I mean kids that young may not understand death entirely and fear he may be alive. Just Saiyan
Nissi 17
That's precious! Good luck with the talk.
MiLM 37
Oh that's so cute! :3 But yea, it's gonna be a hard one to break him... :/
helptheorphans 17
Why would OP break him?
fakedsincerity 32
You know very well she meant "to break to him". Come on.
amberthebear 7
that's adorable! I remember as a child saying something similar. I also got into an argument with a waitress after I said I wanted "poultry" and she called it "chicken". I didn't know the difference lol.
91hayek 31
He needs to learn where he gets his food from. Not just this but also foods that he takes for granted like juice and tater tots, you'll be surprised at how convoluted the production of food has become.
Rkikkas9713 25
You're fun at parties.
BooBooKittyF11 21
i kinda agree. but hes also young so just meat should do for now
Colon_Man 17
A farmer had some city folks out to his place a while back. He grabbed a couple of stick onions out of the ground and handed them to the city folks. They didn't want to eat them because, "they came out of the ground".
Aubade_fml 2
I don't get why this comment is getting so many dislikes? Yeah, you don't need to teach a child that his orange juice is kept in a airtight container for a year and then filled with flavouring, but teach him it comes from oranges, which grow on trees. Teach him while he eats. It's not hard, it's not too difficult for kids to comprehend. Meat is obviously more difficult, but it should be. I grew up in the country, we didn't have a farm but a garden. My dad never bullshitted me, he would take me 'round the neighbours house, and explain everything I had questions about. I knew early on brown cows don't produce chocolate milk, but we still laughed about it (mostly 'cause others believed it, but still..).
skippydoda 32
And that's how he joined PETA.
zaidthunder1 27
Long live the chicken!
coolboy675 16
Is it going to be fun because you get to demonstrate how animal chicken becomes food chicken?
MrBlackledge 12
Innocence is a beautiful thing... CRUSH IT!
gracehi 33
MWA HA HA!
AlphaOmega0106 18
No, you need to burn it with fire... Duh!
SkylineFTW97 25
No, crush it, burn it, dissolve the charred remains in acid, then bury the whole mess out back with the old dog that "went to live on a farm."
AwkwardKarma 18
Omg. I thought the same thing when I was younger.