Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, while we were exploring a building, my dad and I somehow got separated. After about 30 seconds, I found him on the other side of a door, so I went to go through what I thought was a door. Instead, I smashed my head on a windowpane and collapsed to the floor in pain in front of 5 people. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML
Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
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Top comments
awesome8021 3
So who won?
Ravena1213 0
I imagined this in cartoon form
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Comments (75)
wtflawl 3
I'm gonna take a wild stab and say u lost? Lol
I_Punch_Babies 7
i wouldnt jump to solutions there :D
doctorhook86 25
The world is not your jungle gym, OP.
Purplefluff 6
Oh for me it is.....
reddudeover 2
Don't lie this was another attempted escape from the asylum.
ICastillo 25
Hey maybe you and your mom can share a room. That would be cool.
quontag 15
Is it really that hard to beat your dad? Whatever happened to running?
AudioBoss 12
He took the stairs, I ran around the parking structure.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Look, I know you're broken up over MCA's recent death, but there's no need to go recreating the video for "Sabotage".
diegoer 10
Im sure it was hilarious to see from a distance :D
trucker67 10
Now the nickname "Splat" really does work for you .
dtemple1110 6
Well... if my mother was sick in the hospital, I certainly wouldn't be hyped up enough to have a race with my dad but... to each his own.
mightymart 5
I was thinking the same thing.. What the hell
AudioBoss 12
She's got Kidney Stones. So she'll be fine
Pancakemines 0
OP: "See you soon mom bye" *OP and his dad arrive in the parking lot* OP: Hey dad, I'll race you to the car. OP's Dad: Alright then. Ready aaaannnd...Go. *10 seconds later* OP: Mom I'm back.