Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML
Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
Today, I woke up after taking a sleeping pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores, including paying bills, when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover. Reading my texts and emails, I then sort of remembered that in my drunken haze I'd booked a non-refundable flight to the wrong city for the same day. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML
Today, after waking up with the worst hangover in years, I got a bank notification that my credit card was maxed out. Apparently, I bought a $1500 plane ticket for my ex-girlfriend to come over this weekend. She’s in South America. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, my fiancé and I got a joint account recently, but when I got home he was on the phone to the bank claiming our credit card number was cloned, because of the ridiculous number of random purchases. I checked my online banking. It was all just my normal buying habits. FML
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Top comments
nancem 7
Lots of snuggies and sham wows
that1guyyy 12
Betty crocker's complete set is awesome!
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Comments (144)
that1guyyy 12
Betty crocker's complete set is awesome!
Zedd_fml 8
But wait, there is more!!!!
MagicGiraffe 12
Let's hope OP wasn't browsing the personal ads on Craigslist...
GirlOnFire143 6
wutt whos betty croker?? this is weird
P374RD3D 9
31 It was an ad on TV. Nothing was bought on Craigslist. 37 There is no-one named Betty Croker.
ravemasterroxas 9
Noo not the batter-witch!
deformagraphic 3
It was a Post-e-Vac.... If you know what this is then I'm sorry
boofgall 16
I hope to see the next FML in 5-7 days!
Lioness8197 18
37- How do you not know who Betty Crocker is?
soccerchick800 10
Lol keep us updated!
123ilovejustinb 12
You can get that at the Dollar Store
RAWRitsangell 4
How ****** up would it be if OP sent it to the wrong address..lol
kyarush 10
Get you at the dollar store. ZING!
SeahorseGuy 7
You know, odds are if you didn't know you ordered it, you didn't ship it to the right place...
horseridermc 2
You should get back to us when u find out
lilmisslovely13 15
Keep us posted!
boofgall 16
It's been long enough, I expect an updated FML!
ConFuzzld 11
It was the home shopping network...
dansythomas 6
You're ******
onlychildFTW 34
It was only $270 so it isn't that big a deal. If you're going to get drunk hide the remote from yourself before you go out. You drunk mind won't remember where it is and you won't buy stuff from the TV.
ambear26 14
I don't know about you but $270 is a big deal when you are needing to pay the bills and you are out $270. This is why alcohol causes problems some people need limits on drinking. If you can't really control your drinking you probably shouldn't drink.
PrussiaisAwesome 15
You must be pretty rich. I can't speak for anybody but myself, but if I wasted $270 I'd be in some serious financial trouble. Then again I'm a poor college student.
kxxjoejoexxk 8
No one can control themself while drunk
damn_homie 2
43- Right!! $270 is a huge deal! I'm a poor college student too lol. But I don't even have $270 in my bank account.
MindFreakazoid 10
47 - That's why you don't get drunk in the first place, and some people can.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
There is absolutely nothing wrong with drinking a little here and there. Some people can't just drink a few beers though, they need to drink the whole case instead.
MindFreakazoid 10
Mkay I'm sorry, I honestly don't know much about drinking, but from what I hear, it's just best not to go overboard with the drinking. But hey, my motto for here in FML is 'nobody cares what you think'.
asianperry 8
Atleast he could be getting a whole Rachael Ray pots and pans set!
onlychildFTW 34
You shouldn't go overboard drinking, same goes for everything like eating, gambling, drugs, etc.
nancem 7
Lots of snuggies and sham wows
unknown_user5566 27
At least those would be useful items. I immediately thought that OP bought a bunch of those buffalo gold coins, or glass figurines.
justjazzmyn 3
I was actually thinking some tacky jewelry or an ugly outfit, but gold coins & figurines would be even worse.
annie_nk 23
Or maybe a dozen potty putters. (As silly as snuggies are, they're actually quite nice.)
mvc3ftw 17
don't forget the slap chops
Jaxx66 21
I refuse to buy Sham Wow! The guy who sells them does some weird bottom jaw elongation thing when he turns to the side.... And looks like a Raptor. Too scared of what will be in the box. :(
Vimy 6
You're gunna love my nuts!
slimshadyfan123 4
Till you're bifocal curious!
Krajjan 9
Lloyd! Peter! What have I told you about FML?!
Axipiter 24
59 - The jaw thing is from when the hooker bit his tongue. He still hasn't recovered.
MsMourningStar 22
Or one of the juicers that are impossible to clean out and take up half the counter.
RealTalk0 7
Hopefully it's worth the money. If not, just don't get drunk while watching home shopping channels.
Inheritance 10
It's more alcohol just watch.
Pleonasm 36
YOLO! On a less annoying note: Buy another now and you'll get shipping and handling free!
unknown_user5566 27
Your second note was not less annoying. I'm disappointed. :(
Pleonasm 36
No refunds, sorry.
spekledworf 18
One does not simply use YOLO. Ever.
MindFreakazoid 10
I used to think YOLO meant You're an Orange Labyrinth Octopus. I wish it did mean that.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
24) I want to speak to your manager.
olpally 33
YOLO!!! *gets shot in face* *everybody claps and cheers*
onlychildFTW 34
YOLO, most annoying and stupidest phrase/saying ever.
JoeGrant 12
YOLO sounds like a new, yet retro style, yogurt!
Plumesant 8
I hope you bought something nice, sometimes you can find really special fashion clothes in these kind of shops.
iiDangerCloseBK 6
Yeah if you're 75...
Andrew910 5
Could be about 20 shamWOWs!
Raelthelamb 31
or slap chops.
SkoomaKi 28
Or crocs. Now that would be tragic.
UltimateGIRness 16
Or a ton of Justin bieber posters. I couldn't imagine the horror
Andrew123123 9
84- He's drunk, not blind
decidedlyvague 11
You bought a jade turtle tampon dispenser. Don't ask me how I know.
Jaxx66 21
I'd buy that even while sober. Can I get one for toothpicks and napkins, too?
garebear13 4
for somebody who's decidedly vague that was a pretty specific answer...
decidedlyvague 11
Hey. I can if I want.
kotana191 8
what kind of drunk person just starts watching the home shopping channel?
RedPillSucks 33
a drunk person with no life. first it was "forever alone" now it's "forever broke"
amandajlucas2015 2
I wanna know if u are drunk enough to not remember making the purchase how we're u able to see the numbers on ur credit card and able to talk clearly enough to make the purchase in the first place
Drigr 9
It started with only being a little drunk. The purchase was made. It ended with being a LOT drunk. The purchase was forgotten.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
A lonely one.
Enslaved 38
Now you'll know what your drunk side always wanted to get you!