Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, while we were exploring a building, my dad and I somehow got separated. After about 30 seconds, I found him on the other side of a door, so I went to go through what I thought was a door. Instead, I smashed my head on a windowpane and collapsed to the floor in pain in front of 5 people. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML
Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
awesome8021 3
So who won?
Ravena1213 0
I imagined this in cartoon form
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
calivianya 29
I love it when a competitive spirit gets people in trouble. Not everything has to be a competition! Just say something was a competition after you already got there first. Profit!
banana2022 4
Yikes, that many people said you deserved it? I definitely don't agree that you deserve it (maybe you just had it coming :P), but it sounds like you were for a cool stunt and it didn't work so well. Props for right place right time? ;)
Needafarm 22
"Look before you leap" might become your new mantra.
mightymart 5
Sooo you are visiting your sick mother and you are so happy that you play a little game of racing your dad to the car? Ok
BloodFaerie 21
I'm sure all the laughter you caused when your mother found out miraculously cured her... and then she promptly denied knowing you :P
thatssomeBS 9
This made me laugh.
SinfulEnd 20
Thats so sweet. You wanted to be your mothers room mate during her time of need.
Mabonga 12
did you die?