Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I found out that the woman who I punched in the face after I caught her on my porch snooping through my mail is pressing charges. FML
Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML
Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
olii_fml 0
Tell her that she's blown your cover and that you're going to have to kill her
denvan 0
Tell her the aliens are coming for her
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
iEats 1
she sounds like a schizophrenic, tell her to see a doctor about it
NotTheMama 1
If you know any of your neighbor's family members, you need to let them know what she's saying and doing. Also go to the police and file a report personally. Let them know that you think she's untreated paranoid schizophrenic, and that you're concerned. Please be very, very careful and don't do any of the funny things that people have written. Don't look at her, don't eat or drink anything she gives you, and don't ever leave your home or car unlocked. My sister ended up getting an apartment because the girl who lived there before her was an untreated paranoid schizophrenic, and she ended up killing someone in the building who was her friend up until that point. Her delusions or whatever took her over and she didn't know that what she was thinking wasn't real. Her friend knew she was acting strangely, but didn't heed the warning signs and then it was too late. Please be careful and good luck. (If I were you, I'd move as soon as possible, but that's me.) And just for the record, treated schizophrenia is very different from untreated paranoid schizophrenia, so that's why I'm saying for the OP to run.
GlennQuagmire 0
Tell her to leave or you will use the patriot act on her and send her to guanko
chrisworld 0
whats scary is she probably actually did something that has her paranoid that someone is watching her. lolololol
qtns0cal 0
call the local psych hospital maybe they will care
mimi2016_fml 0
well u deserved it...lol
evebright 5
call back the cops and say never mind, I shot her, then hang up. LOL
Coolbreezer 0
dress up like men in black. every time she comes close wisper into your sleeve loud enough so she can hear. * ok. ok. end transmition she can hear us now. over and out*
Bludmagnus 13
This is the result of allowing liberals to force us to accept crazy people as "normal". The woman should be locked up in a wacko basket and never let out.
TechBlaze 0
That sucks.