Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML
Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML
Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML
Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML
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Top comments
Henningdale 5
Looks like u chose the wrong one..
AKALurch 0
at least u were saved
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Comments (163)
Henningdale 5
Looks like u chose the wrong one..
amandajlucas2015 2
Agreed
fatgirllovesfml 0
oh snap..no sex for the husband tonight ;(. that's sad.
Failed_Again 0
That picture is GROSERO.
mrjmaster1234 0
ewww
Livinia 11
What a pussy. At least someone bothered to help.
Failed_Again 0
You all liked this post, because of her picture, right?
emsiti 6
how did you know
rickilynn 0
Shitty Buzz Bro.
Sniper_Fidelis 1
No. Just..no.
sweet_candy_ 17
It's still nice to know that your Brother-in-laws care.
t3hpwnz4rz 4
brothers in law what you just said would mean one brother multiple marriages
dreamering 16
I guess your brothers-in-law deserve a big reward for saving your life, if you know what I mean. As far as your husband, you can let him use his hand for some time
jjpavo 0
husbands/wives suck lol. did you know over 80% of ppl divorce?
DjeePee 25
Did you know that that's not important right now? Whether it was OP's husband, fiancé or boyfriend, fact is that he, the person that should love OP the most, didn't do a thing when she needed help. But I forgot that bashing marriage is typical behaviour for a 15 year old. The only thing I can think about to explain the husband's behaviour, is that he can't swim and didn't told that to OP. But then again, why should he kayak?
docscientist 10
I thought it was >9000
Kukua 5
Did you know that 80% of statistics online are made up? Yours is a perfect example. The divorce rate in the US varies from 5% to 75% depending on what age group and which marriage (1st, 2nd, or 3rd) you're looking at. Overall however, 40-50% of marriages end in divorce; not 80%.
racsistninja 0
haha no kidding mine are >:/
BatmanBaby 0
your picture is ****** up ass hole
Heather_x0x0 6
nobody forced you to marry him...LOL really though your husband is a lazy ass. but hey, at least you're alive!
whoisthisgirl 4
~84% of high school sweethearts that get married get divorced within 5 years. I wish I still had the book that said that...
girl_du_soleil 6
At least your brothers in law saved you!