Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML
Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML
Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML
Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML
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Top comments
Henningdale 5
Looks like u chose the wrong one..
AKALurch 0
at least u were saved
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Comments (163)
hoolio1717 4
brothers-in-law
Primo_Loco 0
that's a bitch ass husband of yours, sorry but WHY are you married to someone who won't sacrafice a little blood or pain to save the one they "love"
shitusernames 0
if they were married to you ( ^^^ ) I can see why they would make up excuses
krazy_glu3 0
I whitewater kayak, and before getting in a kayak you need to know how to role it back up, or at least exit it. which is VERY easy. but if it was a rec, ocean, tandem kayak, or whatever kind you had, it should be easy to exit BC you don't have a skirt to get off... and idk how you ca possibly dislocate anything while exiting a kayak. coming from a whitewater kayaker... idk how this can possibly happen!!! but if it truly did then you have a crappy husband.
emsiti 6
maybe shes really fat and was stuck
staceysgenesis16 0
wow .. your husband is a big lazy pig ..
whitesox365 0
121 dont just go judging people. we dont know the whole situation. what if it turns out he has a bacterial infection on a cut on his leg, he gets jungle foot and has his leg amputated? its unlikely, but possible
Yousuck24 21
140 or he could of twisted his ankle, but I doubt it.
AceArctic 4
"Thank" his brothers later And if you're not TOO angry, invite him!
AKALurch 0
at least u were saved
uncbballwins 0
Dislocated arms aren't that bad.. pussy
Dontstealmyname 11
You'd never know unless your in her situation.
jess6blondie9 3
Takes one to know one.
deliciouscake 3
they are when you're lifting shit, moron.
DrHouseMD_fml 6
i guess its true what they say... you are what you eat.
leeshxx 3
wow jess, that's as good as I know you are but what am I
uncbballwins 0
I've had my arm dislocated a couple times skiing before. Just popped it back into place and got back on the slopes.
nalia18 8
77... ur a dumb a.ss. You know she could have drowned? also i bet you dont know whats its like to be under water with a dislocated sholder.
Codezlol 21
123 I agree. My buddy who has a pretty good pain tolerance got a dislocated shoulder. He couldn't do shit with that arm for like 2 weeks.
GodlyAngel 0
How do you two know she was underwater? Use your brains, my friends.
nerdytacos 3
because it says she was underneath the flipped over kyak who's the dumbass now?
Brennanrulez 0
it also said her husband didnt help because his FEET hurt. if she was in the water her husbands feet wouldnt have anything to do with it, because he'd most likely be IN A KAYAK.
IsntThisAwkward 0
then why was her life endangered if she was safe in the kayak.
ArbiterOfFML 24
dummy she was under a flipped kayak.
kinkajoujennie 0
You should reward them with blow jobs!
Dudelike89 8
Looks like you've practiced.
kinkajoujennie 0
LOL!
Salcedo18 0
dumb bitch
leeshxx 3
he basically called you a **** and you laugh? dang! your picture might also suggest fellatio. boys 2 dollar sucky sucky?
WallyTheWombat 0
Some girls try hard to be slutty. OP don't take away sex because if he didn't save you while he was getting some, Imagine what he won't do when he isn't getting any.
TransitionCovert 6
#15 WIN
vfs_fml 0
Yhur a fuhckinq retard faq.
ChantelRenaeee 0
giggity.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Please tell me your joking. BTW, I read that in a Mr. Happy Face voice. LOL.
ChantelRenaeee 0
yeah i agree with #2. just be glad your saved for now. later on get angry at him.
kfchiken 0
aha I read this FML and the last one peoples are just disliking your comment left and right huh?
ChantelRenaeee 0
ehh i dont care. its just an app.:P
Jimster1712 0
oo, i smell incest
Efilyn 0
What...? The girl has no blood relation with any of those guys. if you mean the husband and his siblings, that doesn't even make sense.
redbluegreen 41
I believe Jimster was referring to themselves. It's the only logical explanation.
docscientist 10
I doubt that, 33.
CitrusGirl 0
I smell someone who doesn't know what incest means
leeshxx 3
I smell a ****** idiot
leeshxx 3
I also smell troll.... ****!
tsukaga2isuwaya 0
62: You mean yourself?
OMG_N3RD 0
87 Lol
raven02 0
i smell chkn cooking outside
smartalek 2
they're not related...?
ilikepie789 0
i smell a combo breaker...
HoMachine 1
the two brothers wants u
ChantelRenaeee 0
want*
Winter247 2
Everyone needs their priorities.
Winter247 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Everyone needs their priorities.
Winter247 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Everyone needs their priorities.