Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML
Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML
Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML
Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML
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Top comments
Henningdale 5
Looks like u chose the wrong one..
AKALurch 0
at least u were saved
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Comments (163)
YacL 15
from the comments given I'm not sure you guys understand why she's upset and if you do your not putting you self in her position. I mean I would be pretty upset if my husband wouldn't save me "because his feet were hurting" and instead my brother in laws did
jmayinc 3
I'm not sure you understand that no excuse is an acceptable excuse for your spouse not to at least attempt to save your life.
smashitsouop 0
something very very similar happened to me 2 weeks ago
hahawowdude 0
Somehow i think divorce is coming up soon for them...
butterbear98 3
are his brothers married?
elusivemuffin 0
This sounds like my boyfriend. Another good reason not to marry him.
lol_ironic_life 9
He should be your exboyfriend! :)
cldean24 4
Oh my boyfriend would be in so much trouble for this. He would not be happy to be alive for a few weeks :)
Xmarshall16X 5
YDI for complaining about ur life being saved. Think about it: im sure ur husband wouldve saved u if he was the only one there. There were 2 other able-bodied men that werent in pain to do it for him, so he left it up to them.
leeshxx 3
aww thankyou 73 :)
iCrysta 0
Guess we know who you SHOULD HAVE married!
SchwizerMan 2
u may have married the wrong brother