Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
P1MP1N 0
wow, that really sucks. its not your fault at all, how were you to know that the kid had down syndrome? You were just doing your job. Don't worry about it man
betsymonty 0
You shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the law, and you should definitely tell your boss what happened.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (243)
michelle4srs 0
Aw, well, it was just your job, so it's not your fault. Why was that kid out by himself though? Shouldn't there be someone with him? And I don't see why people can't ride their bikes on sidewalks. It's dangerous to ride them on streets.
nushadow 0
#195, i see your point. Maybe people should try a new thing called jogging.
jnic 0
wow, have all these "OMG THAT'S A DUMB LAW, SINCE WHEN DOES THAT EXIST?" people never seen a city in their lifetime?
eleanor_rigby 0
aw poor kid :/ not your fault though
planetearth 0
GASP!!! A cop acting like a douche??? SHOCKER!
FajitaFreak 3
To those saying bikes lanes, that only makes sense when there are actually bike lanes to go on. I live in Montreal, a pretty huge city, but half the time I'm biking there are no cycling lanes at all. I have no choice but to ride on the road or the sidewalk.
Asmoday_fml 0
i cannot understand why anyone in this world would think it was bad for someone to ride their bikes on the side walk, its stupid and dangerous to ride bikes on the road and why anyone would even want to is beyond me. I guess its just my curse to be smarter than everyone else.
Snackbars 0
Aw. :'c Poor little guy.
takemeaway10 0
Better than "Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome. I continued to let him ride his bike on the sidewalk and I got fired. FML" Even though I doubt it would happen like that, I don't put anything past bosses, especially not cop bosses.
comadank 0
sorry bro that sucks but we just do what the "boss" says. just like everyone else!