Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
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Top comments
akallaan 7
Like a boss or a homeless man.
SkoomaKi 28
My moth died, please like my comment; it's what he would've wanted :(
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Comments (104)
mwrc8man94 1
I can't believe you threw it up! Weak stomach
flamegrilled123 3
Try keeping mouthwash in your moth for more than 2 minutes and tell me that again
SkoomaKi 28
Won't that kill my moth if i give it mouthwash?
Birdie_Sage 0
Nope, the moth will first burn alive and then die.
SkoomaKi 28
My moth died, please like my comment; it's what he would've wanted :(
UrbanOutfitter 2
You're going to need to use that mouthwash a second time when you're trying to get rid of the horrid smell of puking.
Cad6 24
Throwing up by itself is horrible. The added bonus of a mouthwash would tear my throat apart, and make me cry like a bitch.
Crystal55621 19
53, you could also use toothpaste...just an idea..
DrDilllonReese 12
70- since you took that route... or you could use both, as is commonly recommended by most dentists...
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
If mouthwash goes through your throat, it pretty much dissolves everything in it, so the stomach throw it back up my itself
mwrc8man94 1
What did you just say
akallaan 7
Like a boss or a homeless man.
coldashell 23
Like Betty ford?
Feared 9
The native Americans where I live actually drink mouth wash and hairspray.
Heinousness 0
The ****...
Cad6 24
Who the hell is Betty Ford?
TheElderTROLLZ 15
81 - 18 (your number backwards?!) is Betty Ford... I think.
justinrocks101 0
accidentally? umm how'd that happen?
RedmontFief 7
Accidentally.
Frijolero_92 1
Alcoholic :P
indigofire1230 3
I've had times where I've accidentally swallowed toothpaste, or things like that, from it getting too close to my throat and reflexively swallowing it. Maybe that's what happened...?
ladyLALAA 29
17, call it what you wanna call I'm a ******* alcoholic!
MCRaddict15 15
I can happen accidentally. Haven't you ever accidentally swallowed mouthwash, water in the shower, or when your gargling?
kisaka 2
At least your breath will smell nice....? Or at least your throat
lorenzoman77 7
You know you're an alcoholic when...
obnum 19
When what!? Finish your sentence we will never get to know! D:
BRITTANYHUNGRY 0
Barf of fire
lrgenesis 19
Imagine the feeling of pissing that stuff out…
SkoomaKi 28
Probably a burning sensation but it would smell great!
Birdie_Sage 0
Pee of fire!
untamed112 0
You wouldn't your body would filter it out and it would be perfectly normal
zebree 0
73 you sir are a bigger buzz kill than buzz killington (family guy reference)
lrgenesis 19
Goddamnit 73... Lol @ 90
RoseTintMyWorld 8
You know you have a drinking problem when...
TheElderTROLLZ 15
... you drink too much?
mapwellminner 4
Says the person with a bottle of alcohol for their picture.
Spectre529 12
Why did you swallow it? That's disgusting.
nofearjenshere 12
It was an accident.
jessaiee 17
He swallowed it because it tastes good. Duh.
tennisrapper1 14
I'd say be more careful next time... Johnny knoxville would demand more!
dubzta 1
Lol ur name probably matches ur situation
RedmontFief 7
Yea that's the whole deal. When you write a FML you type in what you want to appear as the "author". I think you'll find this true for most FMLs.