Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML
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Top comments
darth1 18
Wow, that's awful and hilarious.
NiCeGuY115 14
Your son really knows how to be blunt
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Comments (113)
Tupelo_Honey 30
This is possibly one of the funniest FMLs I've read yet!! Sorry, OP, must have been awkward for you...but still hilarious!
JonDG 12
i wonder where Andy heard that word.......you have some explaining to do OP
Rainhawk94 27
can't control what he hears
shanayokay 4
It's one thing for him to have heard the word, but for him to repeat it and know what its reffering to is another issue.
laurenasabutton 26
At 6, he would be going to school. Which is likely where he heard the word. That's pretty much out of OP's control.
Dame84 6
Haha, wow, that's funny and extremely embarrassing!
janiiine 5
That would have made my day if I'd been in a boring waiting room and heard that :)
reymon8823 24
Ummmm when i was 6 i didn't know it as a **** it was then a penis or pee-pee that's kind of disturbing that your son knows that word at age 6.. Smh but you deserved it op
alex101676 8
that's funny.
Ziggy122 15
Oh, kids say the darndest things, don't they?
wdwillever 10
im having a problem typing this because i am laughing so hard. i know karma will bite me in the ass, because i can see my son and daughter doing this.
LuceroJJ 6
That's why kids should not watch MTV
kumarina 35
Smooth