Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML
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Top comments
darth1 18
Wow, that's awful and hilarious.
NiCeGuY115 14
Your son really knows how to be blunt
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Comments (113)
beanthemouse 13
THIS MADE MY DAY.
jimmywithsalt 19
This is excellent and I have favorited it. Kids say the darnedest things :)
LynxieLynx 17
I had to favorite this. Its too amazing xD Well, that sucks. Hopefully nothing happened.
darkfireflame 15
You definitely need to explain that certain things are less than kosher to talk about, let alone yell about, in public, but otherwise wow. Kids say the darnedest things.
FemskyD 26
Woops!! Aww well i'd have laughed About It just as hard as The people around :)
onorexveritas 24
that's hilarious xD
LyricaSilvan 30
Oh, kids.
Crescent_Moon 17
****-a-doodle-doo? My 6 year old sister has known for years what that "little finger" was between my 8 year old brothers legs... That sounds to bad.
cmog3 12
I'd be the one snickering in a corner trying not to draw attention to myself.
PuppiesKisses 19
Id have laughed my ass off and shrugged.