Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML
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Top comments
darth1 18
Wow, that's awful and hilarious.
NiCeGuY115 14
Your son really knows how to be blunt
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Comments (113)
elizacandle 29
Looks like it's time for some sex ed.
mattyiscool123 26
This is by far the best fml I have ever seen.
NotoriousLES 14
Why is it that basic anatomy is a mystery to your children? They really should know boys have a penis and girls have a ****** before ages 5 and 6 when they hear all kinds of things from kids at school. Even if you are way too uptight to explain the opposite gender's difference, surly it was your responsibility to teach your children the proper names of their own body parts.
QueenOrangeSoda 21
I have no problem with kids knowing the words "penis" and "******," as long as they are using it correctly, modestly, and appropriately. However, "****" is never an appropriate term for children.
NotoriousLES 14
Proper anatomy names... Yeah, "****" is obviously not on that list, especially at 6 years old.
lanco_fml 10
kids are awesome..ty for the laugh
liaRawr 9
You'll look back and laugh
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow...okay, this day and age, yes it's a good idea for boys and girls to know their different body parts (but I do agree that they shouldn't know it as "****" at that age). But they should also know proper etiquette and how to act in public. Your children don't know how to do either - your daughter apparently didn't know what was in her brother's pants, and your son was fondling himself in public and they both screamed about it. Teach them proper manners please.
Stumphumper 0
#73. Children don't always behave properly in public. Especially when they're bored. Maybe they have been waiting a long time. Yes it was a poor choice of words for him to use but we no longer live in a time when children should be seen and not heard. Sorry to disappoint you miss manners.
Xotoolyxo 16
Ahh so innocent, it's kind of cute actually
bobsanction 18
At least he knows his anatomy.
King_paradox 22
This FML
jamematt 11
AWESOME!!