Today, my family said that we're all in this together, so I headed over to their house before the stay-at-home orders go into effect. When I arrived, my brother came out to stop me in the driveway to say they were practicing social distancing. From me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a night of no sleep due to severe depression for medical and unemployment reasons, my brother referred to a missed text from the family, saying sarcastically, "Say that you're isolating yourself without saying you're isolating yourself." Well, I wasn't before, but thanks for trying to talk me into it. FML
Today, on the first day of the first week off together with my family in six months, we’re all quarantined with positive COVID tests. By the time we’re off quarantine, I’ll be back at work. FML
Today, I’m the only one in my family who's ever taken Covid seriously. This seemed to really annoy my siblings, so much so that they chased me, pulled off my mask, and dramatically coughed all over me. We’re all adults and though they found it hilarious, I’ve been having panic attacks all day. FML
Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML
Today, my in-laws invited themselves to stay at my house for a few days. They live out of state and have been self-quarantining for months. The reason for visiting? So they can throw a party for extended family at our house. Guess who'll end up doing all the work and clean up? FML
Today, my brother refused to bring his kids to a small family get together for my daughter’s birthday, due to his fear of Covid. Later, I saw online that he was at a huge party for his wife’s family, no masks in sight. When I confronted him, he blocked me and won’t return my calls. FML
Today, some of my relatives are staying over. My husband was late from work, so I rang him. Apparently, he remembers the family drama and the screaming matches from last time, so he’s checked himself into a hotel until my circus of an extended family are gone. FML
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, while on the way to my grandpa's funeral, my brother announced he's moving in with me. When I said no because he's a alcoholic drug addict, both him and my mum started screaming at me that I'm a horrible person and that I don't love them. It's been a hour. Only two more to go plus the return trip. FML
Today, I drove across two states to see my brother, who's had a history of heart problems. My mother had sent me a long e-mail saying he was on his death bed and wanted to talk to me to "get his affairs in order." When I arrived worriedly, he was fine. My mother guilt-tripped me to come visit. FML
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Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
Dick's also a professor AND a member of the Men's Hair Club. Obviously, you're new here on FML....
jbuckets_404 39
OP, I've got a spare bedroom for you here in the Upper Midwest of the US! :-D
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
With a name like Fungal, I can see why your family wants to avoid you. At this time, their shunning of you might be a blessing.
dancingcats 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
with a name like dick pen I can see why you're such a piece of shit. see how that makes no sense? maybe go back to ******* first grade and learn how to spell 🤣 the user name is clearly fun_gal as in "fun gal" jesus christ I swear most people nowadays are borderline ******* retarded
jbuckets_404 39
Dick's also a professor AND a member of the Men's Hair Club. Obviously, you're new here on FML....
Marcella1016 32
Eh he was making a pun and a ridiculous joke like he does on every FML. I admire his persistence. Lighten up. I could be biased though because I love stupid puns lol. Fun girl. Fun gal. FUNGAL. Geddit?! Hahaha
RichardPencil 32
Thanks, you all! I'm just trying to be a Fun Guy!😂😂😂
Marcella1016 32
PS - I also loved the Pen Dick joke. That was creatively awesome lol
RichardPencil 32
You think so? I chose that name with the joke in mind.
Marcella1016 32
/whoosh haha. Glad I can finally tell my friends my mind isn’t as dirty as they all think 😂
Callyn 47
You don't live with them. This is just them appropriately social distancing, it sucks for you but it's to keep everyone safer.
jbuckets_404 39
OP, I've got a spare bedroom for you here in the Upper Midwest of the US! :-D
Marcella1016 32
OP your family is just exercising an abundance of caution. I know it is probably really hurting your feelings, but if you have been going out, going to work, etc, it is possible you are a carrier who isn’t showing symptoms yet and you could get your whole family sick. That would probably make you feel much worse lol. My suggestion: wait the two week recommended quarantine period and if you show no symptoms then, ask again. Actually ask in advance so you are all on the same page. Then they may let you in. And strap in. This is going to last a loooong time. Certain powers that be are trying to lift the quarantines before Easter, but we will just see a spike in cases then and go back to quarantine. So buckle in and hunker down and try not to let this family thing make you feel bad. They are really just trying to be careful and safe for everyone.