Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my fiancée is using our son to make sure we can't have sex. He's two years-old and hasn't once slept in his own bed or crib. FML
Today, my two boys wanted to sleep in bed with us. My wife gave them the okay, even though there’s not enough room for all of us to lay. I’m now sleeping in my 3 year-old’s bed. FML
Today, two days before our vacation, I caught my wife coaching our six year-old son how to fake nightmares, so he could sleep in our bed every night. I now understand why we never have sex on vacation. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, my son told me he liked a girl, so I asked if they were friends. He said no, he's never spoken to her, but he watches her in class and follows her around. When I told him that was fucking creepy, my wife yelled at me. My kid is a stalker and my wife thinks it's cute. God help me. FML
Today, my son came home upset that his crush is still friendzoning him. While he and I were coming up with a plan to get her to change her mind, my wife burst in and yelled, “She doesn’t fucking like him! Get the fuck over it and leave the poor girl alone!” Way to be supportive, hon. FML
Today, I'm starting to realize my wife's baby loves me more than my wife. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
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Top comments
4everFucked 3
What a cockblock.
zandalee 20
Time to ask her why. Did she have a good sex drive before you guys had children? Do you still romance her? When was the last time you guys went on a date? Think about why she doesn't want to make love. Is she too exhausted? Do you help around the place?
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Comments (110)
Taymah49 7
Punch in the face
rt5432 0
There are 7104 men here and 594 women here.
kraz8 1
She's getting it somewhere...
phatdaddy62 23
From me!
sharpshooterben 13
That's a good birth control
hateevryone 15
She's probably cheating.
hantisago 1
You need to have a talk with her. From the sound of it, you have some serious marital issues. She could be cheating, or doesn't find you attractive anymore OP, it could be something small even. either way there's an underlying problem in there
Diligent17 4
Personally, I would have start hanging around with other women(No cheating of course). Then show the wife an ultimatum: Either we fix our sex-life together like a married couple should be doing or just accept I'll just be with other women that will be receptive sexually. Either way, the kid will be taken care of regardless.
boobs1234 5
lmaoo
kappinlivy 9
You need to step up your game!
fantasyworld 39
Ask her why she doesn't want sex anymore. It could be that she's tired at the end of the day but still ask.