Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML
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Top comments
MoonDreamer30 0
I think I would have done the same if I had a pool close to me! So good to know! ;)
MtnDew32 0
godamn spawn campers
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Comments (156)
tigrouficele2012 44
Were they marble?
ATLBOI770 0
ydi u should uf hold ur breath longer
eminemchick 19
wow 8 -.-
Idonebeenhad 17
use a straw to breathe and wait for them to fly away :)
Kn0wledge123 21
When you piss off a bunch of hornets, jumping in a pool doesn't help. You have to keep running for at least 90 feet, because at that point, they'll just get tired of chasing you and go back to the nest. The More You Know.
joooeee 3
slenderman also hovers and waits for the right moment to strike
humorizer 14
I'm confused. The first poster made a comment about Marble Hornets and he got negative thumbs... but the 36th guy made a far more complex statement that isn't directly related... and he got thumbs up. The heck?
NastyNinja31 0
ydi how would u feel if somebody was spraying your house
hoodasswhitekid 0
at least she didn't pee on them from a second story window.
rainbowdinosaur 0
29- what if they flew into the straw?
tal26ful 0
29-who the hell carries a straw with them?!?! I mean come on!
AlexRen 21
I do I carry a straw
imthatguythatdid 0
saw this shit on MANSWERS
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I agree with tal26ful. That's exactly what I thought when I read that comment
sskarma23 9
you obviously haven't seen the manswers relating to this situation
Shy_Anne 10
ouch :(
aubaub 0
I carry a straw!
hahalaughing 0
what if you suck one of em in ??
SadinSherman 16
You could try not pissing the hornets off
True_Legend 0
what stalkers they are lol.
dayve 0
-Learning, you are.
True_Legend 0
ooooook.
mfjkr 10
mmmmm using the dark side of the force you are young Jedi
omgcookeys 15
star wars reference!
rallets 23
^ the force is strong with this one
folgy 10
so is cake
bfflrhea 0
2- sexy picturee
IxLovexYouuuu 6
i bet you're new here, huh?
DeathNotes 3
True_Legend said "what stalkers they are" and "ooooook" and he gets 32 negative votes for each? wtf?
MoonDreamer30 0
I think I would have done the same if I had a pool close to me! So good to know! ;)
kmumma 3
I always thought that worked. Smart hornets.
ImaWiseGuy 5
next time just come up splashing as if your gonna get stung by angry hornets if you don't splash hard enough...
JonaDona 2
No, next time he should just bee careful xD
juicedboi 7
That's how Aquaman was created. He was staying away from hornets and had to learn, you know, that whole not drowning technique.
l00n3yt00nz 6
lmfaoo! that's funny.
Ionodemon1995 0
73- only person commenting on this Fml that's remotely funny. and Fyl op
FlashBurn 13
And you thought people were patient... So, how was the hospital trip? My Lifeguard instructor is allergic, he had some funny stories from that, lol.
kcircuses2 4
stupid
androiddestroya 7
-17 indeed you are
mssuki 0
Those are African Killer Bees - they wait for you to surface.
airforce987 20
because African Killer Bees live in Georgia...
lulututu 4
actually 28 they can be in the us. they attacked my house once.
ninja1983 6
africanized bees have been in the usa for quite a few years now.
HJ0HN50N 4
yes they have been they only recently became a threat when the american killer bee gave them their freedom
humorizer 14
To be fair, Killer Bees not African Killer Bees. There are European Bees (and now American bees) and African bees. When the two mate, there can be a resulting strain called the "Africanized Killer Bee". Not every African-European hybrid goes on a rampage, but the ones that do are often of the 'killer bee' variety. Yay, biology.
zakkyzebra 11
That's like saying Chinese food is only in china... -.-
applesuckers 0
50 lmao. That was f*cked up, but funny as hell. :p
Synyster430 0
95- Boobies!!!!!!
t765234 10
104- You make a fair point.
slushpup9696 12
104 and 107 - Agreed.
omgcookeys 15
maybe they were mad....
True_Legend 0
hmm..... ya think so??
omgcookeys 15
yes, I do think so, that's why I commented that, silly.
xxJessiesGirlxx 6
um, no shit?
Lakers2481 0
stfu :)
ramboman19 8
Your life does suck....sorry
tal26ful 0
WTF is wrong with your mom?!?! to spray a ******* hornets nest!!!! BLAME YOUR MOM
tal26ful 0
GET AN EXTERMINATOR (unless your mom is a really bad one)
itsalanis 25
silly. you shouldve ran inside your house.
ILoveDaWorld 5
well maybe they would follow him into his house. hornets have there ways.
Friaza 29
Yeah cause you would TOTALLY stroll into your house by opening the (possibly locked) door, getting in and closing the door before even one hornet got in while being followed by a ton of Hornets when you're right next to a pool.
Prolusive 5
That's a shame, who would have known? Bad luck...