Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML
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Top comments
MoonDreamer30 0
I think I would have done the same if I had a pool close to me! So good to know! ;)
MtnDew32 0
godamn spawn campers
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Comments (156)
hazumu_fml 8
one of my favorite solutions, fire fire fire. =D
trevishere 7
And catch your house on fire, fire, fire... you're clever.
broomhildo 19
You sound like a real genius.
abidude 5
Lmfaooooo Zelda:)
Loony_fml 4
What did your mom do as you jumped in the pool?? Just watch you?? Why didn't she try to do anything??
humorizer 14
She walked up to the hornets and said, "Please, my good winged insects, would you awfully mind not harassing my spawn? It would be oh-so-delightful if you wouldn't bring bodily harm to her." I mean what would you expect someone to do when they are facing a cloud of hornets that would probably go after them?
bms1996 12
that's when you want some pool toys to hide under....
kaylapple 1
your mom sucks.
garfield224 0
Manswers could have saved you alot of pain
em22_fml 0
they stop if you run 200 ft but i dont know much ppl who would want to run that far
diegosfml 0
wow that sucks
IrishBoy508 1
Good thing you didnt try to use a reed pipe for a brething tube......on second thought try it
decidedlyvague 11
these ******* bitches sprayed our home, killed half my family and now he's trying to hide in the ******* pool. FML I'll get him when he gets out though. I'll get him.
broomhildo 19
I really hope when you say she sprayed the nest it was at least with the spray to kill them and not just a hose to try and scare them away. FYL