Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, I noticed that an SUV forgot to put their gas cap back on, so I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention. They slammed on their brakes, causing me to rear-end them. So much for good karma. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
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Top comments
vatechrules1 0
haha at least it wasn't a pedophile with a honk if you're horny
Jellybean2705 0
I really don't think anyone would take the time to look at bumper stickers after being cut off.
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Comments (92)
RedPillSucks 33
so, is this an FML because your honking was misconstrued and you really don't love Jesus, or that you wasted a good road rage high. What's really going to piss you off more is when you find the "Cut me off if you love Jesus" bumper sticker someone placed on your car.
blake4months 0
nice one btw LOVE the pic
PandaSue92 4
Reading this made my morning. Silly road rage
annihil8or 15
One time some1 cut me off and i did right back to them to take an exit ramp. Dangerous i know but revenge was too sweet
lmaoatall 6
you- that son of a bitch is mocking me. driver of van- look kids, he's so excited about Jesus, he's mad with passion. he's a regular old Ned Flanders. kids- yeaaah for Jesus
anorexicbarbie 8
No. Also, I agree with 5. What's the point of road rage?
sweet_candy_ 17
Count to 10 and take deep breaths. No need to get mad at someone for cutting you off.
ant1078 7
lets hope for ur sake that Jesus thought u were honking coz of the sticker...puts u in his good books for tmr ;)
sweetangelgal 3
i got a chain email like this 3years ago. * thinking*
ChantelRenaeee 0
aww Jesus loves you too.(:
ihasbrains 10
Someone is a little bit confused.
HahaYDI 0
He was trolling you, for sure.
alym1617 0
I wouldve cussed even more. that means not only are they the kind of douche that'd cut you off, they think theyre going to heaven over say, most of Asia. shoulda followed and keyed it.
alym1617 0
plus they'll probly get raptured tomorrow anyway bahaha