Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML
Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, I noticed that an SUV forgot to put their gas cap back on, so I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention. They slammed on their brakes, causing me to rear-end them. So much for good karma. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
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Top comments
vatechrules1 0
haha at least it wasn't a pedophile with a honk if you're horny
Jellybean2705 0
I really don't think anyone would take the time to look at bumper stickers after being cut off.
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Comments (92)
bargarlm 2
people with road rage have problems. YDI grumpy
asselhoff 5
and this is an FML because...?
perdix 31
With all that honking, the driver must have thought you loved Jesus in that creepy, stalker-ish way. The driver was trying to tell you that Jesus loves you, but He's not "in love" with you, and that it's not you, it's Him.
docscientist 10
That didn't throw you into an even deeper and more belligerent rage? He knew you were pissed and succeeded in trolling you. Should've rammed him off the road like an action hero, causing explosions and maiming hundreds.
alexFYL 11
wtf? this is the dumbest thing I have ever read. you sound like a retarded psycho.
mandymadness 0
haha they cut ppl off on purpose! I bet. lol
NecromancerA7X 0
**** religion. I hate Jesus because he's a liar.
Crazy4Christ 0
have some respect. tho I disagree with you, I respect your belief. have respect for others as well
ReynshineCutting 10
I expect this will end up moderated before too long so I'm not even gonna go there.
NecromancerA7X 0
**** religion. I hate Jesus because he's a liar.
Crazy4Christ 0
gassy! op loves Jesus!
RockstarRN 10
Hahaha