Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML
Today, my dad decided to make home-made popcorn. He accidentally used old fish oil instead of mazola oil. Now the house reeks of fish and we can't even throw the popcorn out for fear of attracting wild animals. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
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Top comments
alice_in_mordor 21
Too bad this didn't happen in time for Easter.
Cashtangoteam 10
At least the dog isn't dead.
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Comments (131)
RealTalk0 7
Sounds to me like your dog is interested in art..bright, yellow, fecal art.
Fmylab 8
I'll bet the NEA would give him an endowment and call his work "groundbreaking". I mean, if a guy can pose in a jar and drop a crucifix in it and get a grant...
LuisM104 11
Ahahah! .-.
PenguinBitch 44
Taste the rainbow! Shit the rainbow.
darlinjai 18
Normal people go...ugh that's disgusting! I go...hmmmm what if the dog ate many different colors would his poop be brown again?
testestestes123 4
You are so much more creative and brilliant than "most" people
darlinjai 18
Ha. I was raised that way...but I think mixing ALL the colors is the most disappointing moment in art class history. But this thought came from, well feed him different colors at different times and invest in air fresheners ? but then the thought came...what if it's just a disapointing brown color...not worth it. (BY THE WAY I LOVE ANIMALS AND WOULDN'T WANT ONE TO COME TO HARM<---before anyone accuses me of anything.)
xxjohippiexx 8
Lol :P
Nukes4You 8
I'd make sure that those paintballs are 100% natural, otherwise your dog could have some serious health issues.
outoftown 27
Yellow fish bi-product doesn't sound 100% natural. Unless it was from yellowfish.
raesos91 26
follow the yellow turd road.
MrPlopper 9
Great, now I can't look at the yellow dashes on the road
perdix 31
Better than the dog finding other balls and the whole house smelling of peanut butter.
Tali147 16
Modern art!
ICastillo 25
Hey at least you can see these land mines. And if someone steps on one you'll know who it is.