Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
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Top comments
Arcterion 0
Ah, children. Gotta love 'em. But not quite like *that*.
Sinamoi 18
109- I feel like you weren't hugged as a child.
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Comments (133)
uneekfreak16 0
I doubt everyone in the store turned around... grocery stores have aisles that separate people. Unless you were in a really small store.
kingsteveooo 4
to number 15. Whether it was the entire store or just an aisle. When your embarrased like that. It feels like alot more. And whether it was or not it doesnt matter alot of people turned and starred. Its bad enough
WORSHIPME 0
These are my favorite FML's, kids humiliating their parents :D
wolfie2394 0
One of my girl mates says that All the time. It can get rather awkward
Anonymous409 0
PEDOPHILE.
realggirl 0
YDI... that's abusive.
IDKOMGWTFTWROFLM 0
how????
R3nesmee 0
Oh my god, are some of you really telling this person to HIT her 4 YEAR OLD?!?! What is the matter with you? that kid definitely doesn't know what that could have meant..... Holy crap..... parents aren't supposed to hit their kids, especially when they did nothing wrong... People who think differently should go to therapy.... God....
Defiant47 0
Nothing wrong? How about making a scene? Now I'm not saying that physical punishment is in order for this one event. It could just be that the kid is well-disciplined and this is an outlier event. However, it is just as likely that the parents have gone soft and this kid makes outbursts all the time. Then you should apply the proper discipline.
grlwitperlEring 0
I don't think that the kid was trying to make a scene I mean I scream when I get tickled I'm just so ticklish that I physically can't control my body when I'm being tickled
Defiant47 0
See 38
alex350 0
i agree. I cry when people tickle me, and I'm 18.... very embarrassing. but it isn't like the time when I was 3 or 4 and in the store w/ my mom, and she patted my back to get me moving and I screamed "DON'T HIT ME!!!!!!" I was a brat.
sickofnames 0
Making a scene? If the kid doesn't like being tickled, she has a right to say 'no'. For some people, being tickled is a terrible sensation. I know, as I hate it with a passion. If she yelled at the Dad for not buying her favourite cereal, you may have a point, but she did nothing wrong.
hippo23 0
why are people saying the OP should hit her? she did nothing wrong... what's she supposed to do just let him tickle her... geez she didn't even know what she was saying give her a break and don't tickle her there again OP.
rjw104 0
Hittin and spankin are two completely different things and in this case no she shouldn't get spanked but it don't hurt the kid it teaches them respect and ppl need to realize that
arela 0
repost...
isamariscool 0
#21 i guess you never met hispanic parents.....
repteo90 0
or black parents. I got spanked all the time when I was bad. I personally feel that I lot more people need to be spanked. kids wouldnt be so bratty. But I also dont think this little girl did anything wrong. I hate being tickled, especially in the armpit
maybe_tomorrow 0
"Attention shoppers, child molester in aisle seven". LMAO, kids are great haha.
Mr_Trumpet 0
Hahaha xD
Pastor_Rich 0
spare the rod, spoil the child, it didn't hurt us