Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
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Top comments
ImNotAnAngel 0
You should have slapped them. Both.
DahkLohd 4
The little kid should have screamed, "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"
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Comments (116)
crumbycool881 0
balls to you
DahkLohd 4
The little kid should have screamed, "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"
djmigues 7
That is my no-no square.
JCHammer 5
R-A-P-E!
caguilar21 0
GET YOUR PENIS OUTTA ME!!!
forza_italia88 2
#71 you are disgusting
FYLeveryday 0
........until I get my...satisfaction
lowloudflush 2
Proving, that no good deed goes unnoticed.
skorpien 1
It's unpunished, not unnoticed.
BellaGoBoom 6
It went unnoticed too. Maybe he meant what you said, but he wasn't technically wrong. Sooo.... I'm done being a bitch now.
skorpien 1
Yes, but what he said means every good deed goes noticed, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The two are definitely not interchangeable, and if you're quoting the saying (which I assume was his intention), it does make him wrong.
eitai2001 0
kid should shout ' don't touch me on my studio ' ... search it on YouTube if u don't understand
key_2010 0
Never touch a kid that isn't yours! Thats the rule.
key_2010 0
Don't be like the guy who spanked someone elses kid in Walmart.....
FYLDeep 26
Do you have kids, and have you been touching them?
JManHobbs 0
Never touch a kid that isn't yours? That's a pretty retarded rule to live by. Just like OP demonstrated, sometimes touching kids can be to everyones benefit, some parents are just too stupid to realise.
marvin_fml 0
There was a news story in England recently, about a guy who saw a 3 year old girl walking down the street alone (She'd somehow snuck out of her kindergarten). He was too scared to approach her in case someone accused him of being a paedophile, so he crossed the road and kept walking. She was later found less than 50 metres from where he saw her, she'd fallen in a pond and drowned. This modern paranoia about paedophiles stops good men helping children.
meeeaner_th 16
When? I live in Ireland, there was nothing like that recently...
marvin_fml 0
I should've said a few years ago. Google the phrase "poisoning the relationships between adults and children" Or just "Abigail Rae" I got a few facts wrong, the child was 2, and the guy was driving.
ImNotAnAngel 0
You should have slapped them. Both.
USAF_girl 3
i agee. remember the story in the news when the man slapped the bratty kid that was screaming......lol loooove it.
Wynton 0
maybe you'll learn to keep them off these kids and let them fall. watch as they cry then walk away to continue with your life.
Doortje 30
Ugh, stupid mom. She probably felt guilty for not being there to catch her child and she took it out on you. Don't worry notapedobear, you did nothing wrong.
EmreArslan 11
Notapedobear? That is what he wants that u believe! He hid the reality in the darkest chambers of his ****** up mind.. NL ftw ;)
SillyEars 0
*Aisles.
aliaskis 3
Unless they live on a series of very small islands so the little girl really could run up and down the isles. Or maybe she is very fast, like the Flash.
papaya_master 4
Hahah! Your comment had me giggling out aloud! (:
AkeemKN 1
you are the ultimate troll. your profile picture and posts piss me off. congatulations.