Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
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Top comments
Regulate 21
Hitting someone with a door will usually leave a bruise. Next time just try holding it open until the people behind you take the strain or are completely through.
gobiteme2 34
A well timed accident no doubt.
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Comments (10)
acmariner99 25
The circumstances do seem suspicious.
RichardPencil 32
Freud says there are no accidents.
Regulate 21
Hitting someone with a door will usually leave a bruise. Next time just try holding it open until the people behind you take the strain or are completely through.
azouwa 26
lol you humor me as always.
gobiteme2 34
A well timed accident no doubt.
08069172894 8
hello my people s
PenguinPal3017 19
I don't know if I'd want to work with people who thought I'd do something like that on purpose. What kind of terrible people are they that they see this as something more likely to be intentional than an accident?
BohGlam 8
Well, I'd only been working there for a week at that time, so they didn't really now me that well and who wouldn't be a little suspicious/anxious about the new manager. However, of course I apologised and also discussed this at the next meeting and I think we're all good now.
BohGlam 8
*know And yes, I'm the OP.
tonyfan00 38
Bonk!