Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
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Top comments
sapm90 0
wife or ex?
FFML_314 12
Meet Bob. Bob is a hermaphroditic alcoholic who is unhappy about his penis size. Take Bob's advice. Bob is smiling.
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Comments (83)
BizzaroG 0
soooo, this implies she was cheating? I guess?
Autoshot 9
Good work detective.
IAreStarfeesh 0
Kick her in the **** and move on.
perdix 31
I'm not clear if he means that only she was cheating, or whether they both were and she was just beating the hell out of him. If it was the latter, YDI, girls can get laid a lot easier than guys can.
c8750 2
Really badly worded but I'm pretty sure she was cheating on him
RedPillSucks 33
LOL, the 2nd would make a more interesting FML
karmaslave 5
Well, she was gonna get some somewhere! Where've you been?
SaintE_fml 0
community property
AUAlum2000 0
Go talk to a divorce attorney (like me). Start getting your paperwork (anything that shows marital assets) together. If you even think that you'd like to file in the future, whatever you do, don't say or do anything that could be interpreted as condoning the adultery.
DerFuhrer33 0
Today, after a week of not having sex with my girlfriend, she let me go down on her. I noticed a few weird looking bumps but didn't think anything of it. When I said let me pleasure you another way she said we can't....or I would get the genital herpes she has. Apparently to her the only way to get it is if our genitals touch. I'm scared now. FML.
Cazzybum 11
YDI for not giving her the sex she wanted, WTF is wrong with you? :P
jsl31 0
wait a sec...wife? well not good if it's not with you!!!
evilcartman 0
gotta love army wives... oh wait they do.