Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
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Top comments
rhysfucker 24
At least he didn't ask you if his handkerchief smelled like chloroform.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
This girl is on fire.
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Comments (66)
OhWhoCares 42
I wonder what kind of cologne it was.. The Walmart brand perhaps?
mansfield_j 27
Well that sucks
atl904 8
I guess you can say you got caught in the "spark" of the moment :P
molliciousj 19
Well if he likes you enough he will switch or ditch the cologne. Then you'll know he really likes you and it'll be a funny inside joke later between you two.
danrt19 3
I know that pain all too well. I'm allergic to anything with a floral scent, and have had a couple occasions where I had to cut a date short because my face was srarting to swell
brandoneyez1 25
You thought tingles in your face was falling in love?
False_Stupidity 42
Well hopefully you can save face and get him to change his cologne, unless the rest of the date stank, then you might have to do something to put him off the scent.
TacoChewsday 10
I feel your pain, OP. The only difference is I am allergic to my EX-favorite fruit; the kiwi. As long as he doesn't wear the cologne, you should be fine though! Best of luck! :)
NicaLovesDisney 17
I'm exactly the same, I didn't develop the allergy until I was seventeen though. :( OP, if this all works out, at least you'll have a funny story to tell your friends. :)
JoBHarvelle 7
Keep burning, keep, keep burning love. I keep burning, keep, keep burning love
rainbow_llamas 16
It's actually "bleeding"
rainbow_llamas 16
Sorry OP! Hope it gets better! :)