Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
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Top comments
rhysfucker 24
At least he didn't ask you if his handkerchief smelled like chloroform.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
This girl is on fire.
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Comments (66)
Retrokitty 9
Well hopefully he's understanding. I have really sensitive skin, and it can be embarrassing to have a bright red face.
anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 12
I guess there was some chemistry between you two!
Feklfekl2222 32
There's at least some attreaction
KSIPanda2 6
well for he at least smell good
Infamous_Tora 12
... What?
jazzy_123 20
for a guy**...?
_kyleG_ 34
Well, you can certainly say there was a attraction, er reaction, there
AlyKinks35 21
good one lol
vlalam 24
Wow, didn't see that one coming..
Infamous_Tora 12
Probably smelled it though.
elenaunlucky 10
well now i definitely know what they talk about in cheesy romance novels.
AlexRen 21
Dang, that cologne still isn't going to stop you from giving him hugs anymore?
worldclassrager 41
The girl on fire has the odds in her favor...
paramor3 23
Aaaaaawwwww!! Just ask him to switch colognes...I'm sure there's still a connection there!!
buttcramp 21
This really sucks! OP, if everything else went well on the date and he's willing to switch fragrances then it could still work out.