Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
Yeah. If you lie too long in a sun-bed, you can get sunburn. If you didn't know that, you're probably not old enough to show your butt to your boyfriend.
margxoxo 0
should have got out earlier.. you shouldn't risk cancer though. fyl.
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Comments (99)
kormon 0
thats really got to suck but u ahoulda notticed
wreckem881 0
I suspect you also have chick cancer
autumn16 0
WTF?
Day_Dreams 0
31 are you not right in the head?
jweezy89 4
Why is that offensive?
margxoxo 0
should have got out earlier.. you shouldn't risk cancer though. fyl.
Kimberly_Isabel 7
She was at a sun-bed. That's different from normal sun tanning. @OP, next time stick with regular sun tanning.
littlemissdqgirl 8
Lol Theres so much to learn on fml
wreckem881 0
what a horrible venue to post such unneeded information ... you ************. I went a little far there
littlemissdqgirl 8
^makes me glad that I don't use a tanning bed
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Not disagreeing with you about the risks, but most of what you posted applies to regular tanning. A regular tanner, although quite stupid in their own right, would be well-aware of the possible buttburn and would probably tan accordingly.
1d1r1a1g1o1n 0
Holy shit....and nice pic btw
xaqori 0
i know, right?
LeeIsAwesome 0
lmao that's funny.
buggybeauty 0
ydi. you're going to get skin cancer on your ass.
lettertjes 0
Yeah. If you lie too long in a sun-bed, you can get sunburn. If you didn't know that, you're probably not old enough to show your butt to your boyfriend.
kybabyy 4
win
autumn16 0
yer very pretty (:
jazzyjada10 6
82 made me laugh
meneedlove 0
I can just say that you deserved it...nothing more nothing less..
johndoe1320 0
how did she deserve it? she was trying to look a bit better (attractive) for someone worthy of her time.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Because common sense dictates that tanning beds can cause sunburn as well as a tan.
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
plus tanning beds make people look like umpa lumpas because they get addicted and somehow end up orangey. and spray tans make a stripey umpa lumpa.
Jonkbaby 23
ydi for having heat-seeking buns
zomgwtfbbqbagel 0
Mmmm... crispy red buttcheeks ;D
Dopeyrox 0
If he loves you he won't care as long as he gets some action
xaqori 0
if he really loves her, he shouldnt care at all
bballer32 0
yeah if you don't in a bed regularly you're supposed to go in for 10 minutes only to start. you totally deserve it. and enough about the cancer, you can get cancer from everything now a days.