Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend in which she broke up with me. I was upset, but one minute later another text from her said, "Sorry, wrong person." FML
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Top comments
grahambertus 11
Well it looks like life might get better without her.
JustAReaderZZZZ 10
Why did you choose to stay with her if you were always "viciously insulted"?
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Comments (77)
Jemm_fml 29
And why not? You dodged that bullet like Neo. Alwaysss a bright side.
HortonThelephant 15
I happen to notice you're from New Zealand. You wouldn't be dating King Kong by chance now would you?
MissMollie_85 12
I was thinking more 'braindead" - now THAT'S an unhealthy relationship with ones mother....
MissMollie_85 12
why did I think the mother did it? ****. just ignore me, it's been a hard day at work and I'm quite the babbler. :(
mickaela_ 12
You're way better off without her, especially if she broke up with you in such a cowardly way. You sound like you tolerated her "illiteracy," but now you can find someone who might be able to actually carry on an intelligent conversation! Be happy and learn something from this, like avoiding that type of girl.
bruce17 8
does it matter if your freedom notice is written by your master or his agent...at the end of the day, u are a free man....so stop worrying OP...enjoy your new found freedom and look out for a new girlfriend!!! u deserve better...
ViviMage 40
I know it hurts. I had a fiancé that told me to "eat shit and die you cu**flap!" Every 2 weeks.... It hurt to lose him and it took me a while to realize in better off without him. It'll be ok. Give yourself time.
Busybeth98 16
That's really saddening. Best of luck to you in the future!
ViviMage 40
Moved on to a really great guy! All 'Cept that he's also Irish/Cherokee like the abusive ex was so there is some surface similarity in looks. Scared my pet rabbit that it was the same person and she hid her head in my leg when he meet her! Now he is a doting Uncle to the bunny. And wonderful to me.
ViviMage 40
I should note the ex had gotten jaded in life after we met and his outlook degraded. He couldn't accept that HE might be the reason for his job firings for vile language, his temper for losing his bike and getting ticketed an dumping his bike on a trash heap which was then stolen overnight, his bans from message boards for telling the mod to "kiss my a**".... He decided he is a female in man's body and developed an identity disorder after he parted ways. I'm not convinced that wasn't for attention, but I'm not looking back!
Zebediabolical 45
Are you even sure it was her and not someone else who got hold of her phone and decided to play a vicious prank? Not that she's worth staying with from what you've said about her.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Reading comprehension, you failed it.
Zebediabolical 45
Not really. Consider: . If it was from OP's girlfriend's phone and he knows it wasn't her because of the fist, then my statement is valid. If it were from someone else's phone and he knows it wasn't her because of the fist, it becomes even easier for it to have been a vicious prank. I'm not saying it was, but the possibility is clearly there.
TwinkleToes7 15
Then why did you go out with her?
DanqGirlxoxo 13
Sorry OP, don't worry , theres plenty more baboons in the trees :D
tehdarkness 21
Woah dude, if your relationship was like that you shoulda broke up a long time ago!
perdix 31
I'm being held against my will in Noor's basement, and yet, I feel sorry for you.