Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint birthday party with her dog, because it would be the dog's "Big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML
Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "Don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded, "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded, "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML
Today, I asked my mom if I could go to a friend's birthday. She said no, claiming I had been to too many this year already. I'd only been to one. It was my own. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML
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Top comments
GenevieveL 0
It's not every day the dog has a milestone like that. :P
danii_s2 0
if it makes u feel better... in dog years, it's his seventieth.
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Comments (43)
GenevieveL 0
It's not every day the dog has a milestone like that. :P
NoNameForM3 0
Kill the DOG :O :P
krnmafia92 0
Ask for double the shit. The dog isn't going to eat the cake, so you get double the cake. Double the fun. Also, if you have no friends, you can invite dogs (who have owners). It seems like this might be the situation if your mom wants to have a joint-birthday.
seanreddog 4
These dog fmls are getting boring.
randomdude1234 0
Here's an idea. Just say yes I mind. TA-DA problem solved.
zac12345 0
Presses So-What button
danii_s2 0
if it makes u feel better... in dog years, it's his seventieth.
Chuzza 2
77th actually, the first year of a dog's life is equivalent to 14 years.
Dragonforce511 0
ok no offence of anything but there's no such thing as dog years a dog will die quicker than us because it breathes to a lot when it's hot(panting)and through that dieing quicker Also a year is the time it takes a planet to orbit the sun so a dogs year is the same as a human year...unless dogs live on another planet
shoopkitten 0
Ummm...the panting does not make them "die quicker". And there is no set ratio for dog age. It depends on several factors such as breed and size. Most large breeds such as Great Danes and Mastiffs only live 7-8 years because their size puts extra strain on their heart and joints. Smaller breeds such as poodles can live 20 years or more because there is less strain on their organs. You also need to take into account "natural" deaths vs. "assisted" deaths. A mastiff may live an extra 6 months in horrible pain from joint issues or the owner could put them down to spare them that pain. Please do some research before spouting off.
xzc426 0
#35 has a point about the dog years.
xzc426 0
example: asian people tend to be smaller and live longer than american people, therefor they should have different year cycles? lol
bluebob13 10
I heard that the first year of a dog's life was one year and then ever year after that was seven years.
Starfire22 5
Hehe I celebrate my dogs birthday but it wouldn't be over my childs birthday.
xKoga 0
Your birthday is more important, but I can't brand this a FYL or YDI, so I'll just brand it YLR, your life rocks. It would be cool to share a birthday with a family beloved pet. Twice the fun and enjoyment, I'd appreciate it. Plus it would hit two birds with one stone (if your parents are the type to celebrate holidays with your pets, which I do myself). I honestly don't see how this passed moderation, unless you dislike your mothers pet.
presstik 0
Can't...tell...if...actually...that...stupid
schwinn11 0
Just take the dog for a long drive and let him out of the car. He'll find his way back home in a week or so, but it wouldgive you a chance to have your own party
icecreammintz 0
if anyone does any harm to a dog in front of me, the dog is gonna have a human skin coat..... i will **** you up if you mess with a dog OP
aback 5
If the dog is female, make your mother share Mother's Day with it--claim it's "Bitches Day". Hey, you'll be moving out soon, anyway.
namezox 0
hahahahaha! nice one
Kukironosuke 16
agreed this is funny, animal lovers shouldn't be able to make events for the pet that involve participation of other people who may not love the animals THAT much, dont get me wrong i think pets are awesome but the op's mom can talk to(like the dog has sentient intelligence)/give party for their dog alone
kaleid0scopeEyes 0
of course there is that one annoying person whining about "being selfish." "OMG! THERE ARE OLD PEOPLE BEING RAPED AND KIDS WORKING IN DA FIELDS AND MY DAD IS MEAN TO ME AND I ONLY GOT AN IPOD NANO FOR CHRISTMAS WHEN I WANTED AN IPOD TOUCH, AND YOU THINK YOU GOT PROBLEMS!!!1111"
hasty_D 0
hehehe watch out he might get an ipod :P is cool man who gives a sh** about the dog as long as you get your birthday... ;)
WeStayCrunk24x7 0
hah if its a "joint" birthday party its all good. give her some blunt trauma from the high command
hasty_D 0
seriously i thought the same at first haha
dumbblondemandi 0
CUTE!!! do it :D